Ahh, yes the tooth fairy...
That was dumb....
••
♥
Early one morning an elderly retired Marine yelled to his
wife:
“Honey, come see what I created!
It’s an abstract panorama depicting the 6 years of the
Obama presidency”
She yelled back:
“Flush the toilet and come eat your breakfast”
••
I use to believe the phrase quiet as a mouse until my
wife stepped on one.
••
A man with one testicle finally goes to the doctor
He's ashamed of telling the doctor(male) about his
condition directly so he whispers in the doctor's ear,
"the sum of mine and your testicles is 3".
The doctor looks at the man astonished and asks
"You don't have any?".
••
"Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back
in the same box."
-- Italian Proverb
••
In a moment of passion, Dora says to her
husband Gary,
“Have you ever thought what would have
happened if I was married to someone else?”
Gary replies, “No, I can’t ever think ill of
anyone.”
••
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...
I guess they don't appreciate random strangers coming
up to their doors.
••
A teacher is always just one loud fart away from losing
control of a classroom.
••
A newly married couple, Arun and Daisy,
boarded a train from Bombay to Delhi.
They had Upper sleeper Berths on the
opposite sides of the compartment.
At night, Arun was feeling romantic, so he
whispered to Daisy, "Come across here my
love."
Daisy asked, "How do I get over to your side?"
Arun replied, "Have something stiff here that
you can take support of and come to my side."
An old man in the lower berth, who was not
getting any sleep, commented, "How on earth
is she gonna get back??"
••
She left me alone in the house with cupcakes cooling.
Rookie mistake.
••
Thank you for calling customer support:
My name is Habib Akmed Mufassa Osama Akmed Habib.
How may I misunderstand you and piss you off today?
••
You should have seen my dad's face when I
took him to the eye doctor to operate on him
for cataract.
The doctor did everything he could to make
him relax, but my dad's nervousness was at
it's peak.
The doctor kept reassuring him.
I also stood next to him if it gave him any
consolation.
It was what the doctor said after finishing
with his first eye, that made my Dad jump!
The good doctor said, "Well, only one eye left."
••
Yes, I had camouflage parachute pants in the 80s,
but in my defense, I was in the army's elite breakdancing
unit.
••••
