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♥
The White House says President Obama will
make a speech on campaign finance reform
today in California.
"The exact time hasn't been announced.
Aides are still trying to fit it in between
fund-raisers."
••
"In any business, the customer is always right,
except when he calls technical support."
••
iHOP special in honor of Nadya Suleman
iHOP is offering the Octomom special:
it consists of 8 eggs, no sausage and somebody
else pays for it.
••
We should restore the practice of dueling.
It might improve manners around here.
••
What is the collective term for rams crossed
with lamas who work as Avon representatives??
Rama lama ding dongs.....
••
So it's Monday, and my Ex-girlfriend texted me,
(and yeah, I dodged the bullet when I moved away from her) saying:
Her Message: 'It's my birthday on Thursday.'
My Message; 'Oh; Happy Birthday!'
Her Message: 'No, it's on Thursday.'
My Message: 'Save this Text'.
••
I used to think I was indecisive,
but now I’m not so sure.
••
One morning following a tiff, I put my pants on too
roughly & ripped the seam along the fly.
I glared at my wife and said "I'll wear these today so
everyone in the Office will know what I have to put
up with."
She said, "No, I'll repair them.
I don't want them to know what I have to put
up with."
••
I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years
experience.
••
A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up
stranded on a tropical island.
For twenty years he never sees another human being.
Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair,
her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of
driftwood.
He explains to her how he existed for twenty years,
digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries.
She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"
He says, "Love? What's that?"
She says, "I'll show you."
She shows him.
Then she shows him again.
Then she shows him one more time.
When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do
you like love?"
He says, "It's great.....
But look what you did to my clam digger."
••
Tampax have invented a new rainbow colored
tampon...
It's said to give women a brighter period!
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