Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

Boudreaux take his wife, Cloteele, to a dance down on
the bayou, las' weekend.
There was this guy on the dance floor dancin' like crazy -
breakdancin', moonwalkin', back flips--the whole works.
Cloteele turn to Boudreaux and say, "See dat guy?
Twenty-five year ago, he propose to me and I turn him
down."
Boudreaux paused and say, "Look like he still celebratin'!"

 

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If you can show me a man with a comb-over.....
I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a
bag of chips, you make more chips.

 

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Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.

Mom and Electronics...... She doesnt know how to use
anything electronic.
Anything that requires technology she doesnt know how
to use -- except the e-mail forward.
I dont know what it is about moms and the e-mail
forward, but they get it immediately.
My mom can't even use the dishwasher,
yet every morning I have 75 new e-mails, all from my mom.
Oh great, what cat dressed like a human today?
What couldnt wait til never?

 

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I told my cat I was going to teach him to speak English.
He looked at me and said "Me? how?"

 

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On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a
sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned
43 restrooms.

 

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Q: What is even dumber than a blonde trying to build a
house underwater?
 A: A blonde trying to burn it down.

 

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Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.
      1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
     2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.
     3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period.
     4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
     5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
    6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.

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Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over
tea.
"I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails.
He makes me terribly nervous."
My Billy used to do the same things," the older woman
replied, "but I broke him of that pesky habit."
"How?"
"I hid his teeth!"

 

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