Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

Did you hear about the new drink?
It's called a "Hurricane Sandy."
It is a watered down Manhattan.

 

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I bought my Muslim neighbor
an electric razor for Christmas.
I hope she likes it.

 

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Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinsilitis!

 

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What do you get if you cross an apple and a banana?
A banapple :)

 

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I remember last Christmas.....
I had a guy knock on my door, trying to preach to
me about Jesus, saying how I should repent for my
sins.
 My 10-year-old son was still excited and ran to the
door shouting "Santa Claus came to my house!"
 The man looked at me and said "Isn't he a bit old
to believe that there's an invisible man in the sky,
watching everything you do, judging whether you're
good or bad?"
 I looked at him and asked....
"Sorry, which church were you from again?"

 

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Boss: “Sam, you are still so young.
Why have you lost so much hair.”
Sam: “Yes sir, it's worry and tension.”
Boss: “What worry?”
Sam: “Losing my hair, sir.”

 

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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
 A: A bird that will talk you ear off!

 

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No one believes him, but Gus swears he has the
greatest memory in history:
He remembers going to a party with his father and
going home with his mother.

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How many cheeses does it take to change a lightbulb
None because they cannot stand the heat.