Hello, Friends...
Been trying for a little over
three hours for Blogger to start working...
Must be working on it again.....
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Two ducks were flying South for Winter when an
Airforce jet overtook them at around mach 5…
After about 40 mid-air somersaults and feathers flying
everywhere, they managed to compose themselves and one
duck says to the other: “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
“I SURE DID!!!!!” says the other duck.
“AND GEEZ, WASN”T HE MOVING!!!!”
“He sure was,” says the other duck: “but so would you if
you had two butts and both were on fire!”
Airforce jet overtook them at around mach 5…
After about 40 mid-air somersaults and feathers flying
everywhere, they managed to compose themselves and one
duck says to the other: “DID YOU SEE THAT?”
“I SURE DID!!!!!” says the other duck.
“AND GEEZ, WASN”T HE MOVING!!!!”
“He sure was,” says the other duck: “but so would you if
you had two butts and both were on fire!”
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Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room
while his father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching
sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began
to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he
could.
Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and
yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play
something the dog doesn't know!"
while his father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching
sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began
to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he
could.
Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and
yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play
something the dog doesn't know!"
••
Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears.
Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears.
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Household Hearthrob Mr Clean Dead at 54....
The household hearthrob known as Mr. Clean was killed in
a tragic housekeeping accident today at Proctor and
Gamble
He was 54.
Clean was known for his shaved head, sparkling white
t-shirt, and muscular physique, but he was loved by
millions of homemakers across the country for his
willingness to take on the toughest cleaning jobs around
the house.
A spokeswoman said Clean was testing a toilet bowl
cleaning formula when he was apparently rendered
unconscious by concentrated methane gas and fell below
the surface of the water in the bowl.
Foul play is not suspected.
By the time scientists in the lab noticed he was missing,
it was too late.
"He was always so meticulous and efficient.
We never had to check on him" said one researcher.
OSHA investigators were at the lab conducting interviews
and trying to determine what went wrong.
The household hearthrob known as Mr. Clean was killed in
a tragic housekeeping accident today at Proctor and
Gamble
He was 54.
Clean was known for his shaved head, sparkling white
t-shirt, and muscular physique, but he was loved by
millions of homemakers across the country for his
willingness to take on the toughest cleaning jobs around
the house.
A spokeswoman said Clean was testing a toilet bowl
cleaning formula when he was apparently rendered
unconscious by concentrated methane gas and fell below
the surface of the water in the bowl.
Foul play is not suspected.
By the time scientists in the lab noticed he was missing,
it was too late.
"He was always so meticulous and efficient.
We never had to check on him" said one researcher.
OSHA investigators were at the lab conducting interviews
and trying to determine what went wrong.
••
Sign in a hotel shower:
"If there's a song in your heart, let it stay there.
The walls here are very thin."
"If there's a song in your heart, let it stay there.
The walls here are very thin."
••
A 1920 Babe Ruth uniform sold at a sports
memorabilia auction for $4 million.
As a matter of fact, this is the uniform he was
wearing when he was first dating Betty White.
memorabilia auction for $4 million.
As a matter of fact, this is the uniform he was
wearing when he was first dating Betty White.
A Blond Bombshell buys the new Automatic
BMW X8 sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day,
but at night the car just won't move at all.
She tries driving the car at night for a week but
still no luck.
She then furiously calls theBMW dealers and they
send out a technician to her.
The technician asks "Miss, are you sure you are
using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she replies, "You fool, idiot man,
how you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!
I use 'D' for the Day, and 'N' for the Night..."
BMW X8 sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day,
but at night the car just won't move at all.
She tries driving the car at night for a week but
still no luck.
She then furiously calls theBMW dealers and they
send out a technician to her.
The technician asks "Miss, are you sure you are
using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she replies, "You fool, idiot man,
how you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!
I use 'D' for the Day, and 'N' for the Night..."
••
Taco Bell is launching a new upscale menu at all their restaurants.
That's good news for anyone who has ever wanted to experience
classy diarrhea.
That's good news for anyone who has ever wanted to experience
classy diarrhea.
••
My friend is a Botox junkie, she can't stop getting
the injections.
But, surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her
flu shot, she shuddered.
"I hate needles," she said.
I had a solution: "Just pretend it will make your
arm look younger."
the injections.
But, surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her
flu shot, she shuddered.
"I hate needles," she said.
I had a solution: "Just pretend it will make your
arm look younger."
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