Heat wave and thunder storms...
Big bad wind came thru...
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♥
A security guard stopped me as I walked out of Walmart
this morning.
"I believe you've got a bottle of champagne inside your
jacket," he said, "Would you mind opening it for me?"
"Not at all," I replied, "Have you got a couple of glasses?"
this morning.
"I believe you've got a bottle of champagne inside your
jacket," he said, "Would you mind opening it for me?"
"Not at all," I replied, "Have you got a couple of glasses?"
••
The Arabian inventor of the bullet proof vehicle died today.
R.I.P Ahmed Carr
R.I.P Ahmed Carr
••
WARNING: If you see posts offering free clips of
Justin Bieber's new album,..... DO NOT CLICK.
They link to free clips of Justin Bieber's new album.
Justin Bieber's new album,..... DO NOT CLICK.
They link to free clips of Justin Bieber's new album.
••
My wife and I were discussing what song we each would
like played at our funerals.
"I want something memorable," she said, "something that
will bring everyone close together"
"I know what you mean" I said softly as I made my way to
the CD player, "something like this?"
Well, the look she gave me as I bounced around to
the conga was just evil.
like played at our funerals.
"I want something memorable," she said, "something that
will bring everyone close together"
"I know what you mean" I said softly as I made my way to
the CD player, "something like this?"
Well, the look she gave me as I bounced around to
the conga was just evil.
••
Gus pulled into his driveway after a tough day of repairing
roofs
He got out of the truck and slammed the door.
As his helper jumped down from the passenger seat,
Gus let him have it.
"Damn it, Pete," he yelled.
"I've taught you everything I know, and you still don't know
anything!"
roofs
He got out of the truck and slammed the door.
As his helper jumped down from the passenger seat,
Gus let him have it.
"Damn it, Pete," he yelled.
"I've taught you everything I know, and you still don't know
anything!"
••
I made breakfast in bed for my wife this morning and
she said, "I can't eat that, it's burnt and horrible."
I replied, "Yeah I know it is.
It was your recipe I used."
she said, "I can't eat that, it's burnt and horrible."
I replied, "Yeah I know it is.
It was your recipe I used."
••
“American Idol” is down to its final two
contestants.
The losing contestant will fade away into obscurity,
while the winning contestant won’t have that
happen until around June.
contestants.
The losing contestant will fade away into obscurity,
while the winning contestant won’t have that
happen until around June.
••
Under ObamaCare all Lasik procedures will be done
outside.... In the sun.... With a magnifying glass.
outside.... In the sun.... With a magnifying glass.
••
I think before we vote we should get the politicians really
drunk so we can hear what's really on their minds.
drunk so we can hear what's really on their minds.
••
Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my
husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my
office.
A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them.
On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over
the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.
As I'd hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
When he saw me, he said, "Are those potato chips?"
husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my
office.
A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them.
On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over
the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.
As I'd hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
When he saw me, he said, "Are those potato chips?"
••
cl Deja poo, the feeling you've heard someone's chit before.
