Would you believe it's Saturday....
••
••••••••••••
••••••
•••
♥
Now they're saying cigarettes can cause rectal
cancer.
I'll be okay though, I'm always very careful to put
them in my mouth.
cancer.
I'll be okay though, I'm always very careful to put
them in my mouth.
••
Chuck Norris beat Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder
in a staring contest.....
At the same time.
in a staring contest.....
At the same time.
••
The ditzy CNA was instructed to wash her hands.
"Both of them?" she asked.
"No, just do one," replied her instructor.
"I'm curious to see how you'll do it."
"Both of them?" she asked.
"No, just do one," replied her instructor.
"I'm curious to see how you'll do it."
••
"Somehow, I have to convince my mother and
father to spend more time learning about the
Internet," a teenage boy remarked glumly to an
amused friend.
"You're not going to believe this, but last night I
was grounded for using the word "blogging" in
front of my mother!"
father to spend more time learning about the
Internet," a teenage boy remarked glumly to an
amused friend.
"You're not going to believe this, but last night I
was grounded for using the word "blogging" in
front of my mother!"
••
New medical students were made to take an
extremely difficult class in physics.
One day the lecturer was discussing a particularly
difficult concept.
A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we
need to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives," the lecturer responded quickly and
continued.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up
again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps idiots like you from graduating,"
replied the lecturer.
extremely difficult class in physics.
One day the lecturer was discussing a particularly
difficult concept.
A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we
need to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives," the lecturer responded quickly and
continued.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up
again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps idiots like you from graduating,"
replied the lecturer.
••
Now that lawyers can advertise, says one reporter,
you had better brace yourself for the following
pitch from one who specializes in divorces:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back. "
you had better brace yourself for the following
pitch from one who specializes in divorces:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back. "
••
In a recent FDA study, the United States
government doctors who were conducting studies
on test drugs administered weekly doses of
VIAGRA to an equal number of doctors and
lawyers.
While the majority of the doctors achieved
enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers simply
grew taller.
The US government researchers are at a loss to
explain.
government doctors who were conducting studies
on test drugs administered weekly doses of
VIAGRA to an equal number of doctors and
lawyers.
While the majority of the doctors achieved
enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers simply
grew taller.
The US government researchers are at a loss to
explain.
••
Did anybody hear that loud noise on the East Coast
this morning ??? Oh never mind, it was the
"Crack of Dawn".
this morning ??? Oh never mind, it was the
"Crack of Dawn".
