Ready for a new day??
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A woman was taking her time browsing through
a yard sale.
She told the hostess, "My husband is in the car
and he's going to be angry that I stayed this long
at your sale."
"Oh, I'm sure he'll understand when he seen the
bargains you've found," replied the hostess.
"Normally, maybe, but he just broke his leg and
we were on our way to the hospital!"
a yard sale.
She told the hostess, "My husband is in the car
and he's going to be angry that I stayed this long
at your sale."
"Oh, I'm sure he'll understand when he seen the
bargains you've found," replied the hostess.
"Normally, maybe, but he just broke his leg and
we were on our way to the hospital!"
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Proof that you can't ever underestimate the
creativity of boys for mischief.
Considering all the brilliant, devious minds we
had in high school, I don't know how we missed
doing this....
At a high school in Montana , a group of students
played a prank.... they let three goats loose inside
the school.
But before turning them loose, they painted
numbers on the sides of the goats:
1, 2, and 4.
School Administrators spent most of the day
looking for No. 3.
Proof that you can't ever underestimate the
creativity of boys for mischief.
Considering all the brilliant, devious minds we
had in high school, I don't know how we missed
doing this....
At a high school in Montana , a group of students
played a prank.... they let three goats loose inside
the school.
But before turning them loose, they painted
numbers on the sides of the goats:
1, 2, and 4.
School Administrators spent most of the day
looking for No. 3.
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Late one evening, a woman wanted to pick up
some items at a convenience store.
Uncertain that it would still be open, she called to
ask what time they would close.
The man who answered told her, "Ten, but we
start giving people dirty looks fifteen minutes
earlier."
some items at a convenience store.
Uncertain that it would still be open, she called to
ask what time they would close.
The man who answered told her, "Ten, but we
start giving people dirty looks fifteen minutes
earlier."
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A man saw that his neighbor's car was wrecked
and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt,
and blood.
He asked, "What happened to your car?"
"Well," the neighbor replied, "I ran into a lawyer."
"OK," said the man, "that explains the blood, but
what about the leaves, the grass, the branches,
and the dirt?"
"Well," the neighbor replied, "I had to chase him
through the park."
and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt,
and blood.
He asked, "What happened to your car?"
"Well," the neighbor replied, "I ran into a lawyer."
"OK," said the man, "that explains the blood, but
what about the leaves, the grass, the branches,
and the dirt?"
"Well," the neighbor replied, "I had to chase him
through the park."
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The class assignment in composition was to write
about something unusual that happened during
the past week.
Little Irving got up to read his.
"Papa fell in the well last week - " he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher.
"Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said little Irving.
"He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
about something unusual that happened during
the past week.
Little Irving got up to read his.
"Papa fell in the well last week - " he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher.
"Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said little Irving.
"He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
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A seafood diet is the best, whenever you see food,
eat it.
eat it.
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Ever wonder why they never show the people
eating during films whilst in-flight?......
It's not because of the film's content,
it's because the people in the film are eating better
than the people on board.
eating during films whilst in-flight?......
It's not because of the film's content,
it's because the people in the film are eating better
than the people on board.
I do 5 sit-ups every morning.
May not sound like much, but there's only so
many times you can hit the snooze button.
May not sound like much, but there's only so
many times you can hit the snooze button.
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My friend Dave was taking his first plane trip.
The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing
gum.
"It's to keep your ears from popping at high
altitudes," she explains.
When the plane landed Dave rushed up to her.
"Miss," he said, "I'm meetin' my wife right away.
How do I get the gum out of my ears?"
The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing
gum.
"It's to keep your ears from popping at high
altitudes," she explains.
When the plane landed Dave rushed up to her.
"Miss," he said, "I'm meetin' my wife right away.
How do I get the gum out of my ears?"
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Patient: "This hospital is no good.
They treat us like dogs."
Orderly: Mr Jones, you know that's not true.
Now, roll over."
They treat us like dogs."
Orderly: Mr Jones, you know that's not true.
Now, roll over."
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