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Some favorite messages spotted on church signs
or billboards....
-Fire Insurance Inside
-This Church Is Prayer Conditioned
-God Answers Knee Mail
-PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush!
-Sign broken, come inside for message
-This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R!
-Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme
-Wal-Mart's not the only savings place
-The best position is on your knees!
or billboards....
-Fire Insurance Inside
-This Church Is Prayer Conditioned
-God Answers Knee Mail
-PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush!
-Sign broken, come inside for message
-This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R!
-Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme
-Wal-Mart's not the only savings place
-The best position is on your knees!
••
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the
FBI.
"Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have
to meet some strict requirements.
First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out
80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "You must pass a
physical and complete the obstacle course."
This perfect canine specimen finishes the course
in record time.
"There's one last requirement," the director
continues; "you must be bilingual."
With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says,
"Meow!"
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the
FBI.
"Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have
to meet some strict requirements.
First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out
80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "You must pass a
physical and complete the obstacle course."
This perfect canine specimen finishes the course
in record time.
"There's one last requirement," the director
continues; "you must be bilingual."
With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says,
"Meow!"
••
A guy attending a wedding asks the person sitting
next to him, Hey, have you noticed how horrible
looking the bride is?.... Man, she's ugly!
You jackass.
That's my daughter you're talking about!
the person responds.
Oops! I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't know you was the father.
I'm not, you stupid idiot..... I'm the mother!
next to him, Hey, have you noticed how horrible
looking the bride is?.... Man, she's ugly!
You jackass.
That's my daughter you're talking about!
the person responds.
Oops! I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't know you was the father.
I'm not, you stupid idiot..... I'm the mother!
••
My grandfather's new nickname is Rusty.
It's not because he has red hair.
It's just that whenever he gets out of a chair these
days he leaves a small brown mark behind.
It's not because he has red hair.
It's just that whenever he gets out of a chair these
days he leaves a small brown mark behind.
••
A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to
follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be
old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered him immediately,
"I just don't know, son.
No male has ever lived that long yet."
follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be
old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered him immediately,
"I just don't know, son.
No male has ever lived that long yet."
••
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle
looking for something to eat when he came across
two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a
book while the other was typing away on his
typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him proving even the king
of the jungle knows that readers.....
digest and writers cramp.
looking for something to eat when he came across
two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a
book while the other was typing away on his
typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him proving even the king
of the jungle knows that readers.....
digest and writers cramp.
••
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking,
okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a
decision she’ll regret in the future..
okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a
decision she’ll regret in the future..
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