Good Morning...People...
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♥♥♥
I got yelled at again..... for using my wife's
toothbrush.
I promised I wouldn't do it anymore.
Anyone know a better way to clean dog crap out
of tennis shoes?
toothbrush.
I promised I wouldn't do it anymore.
Anyone know a better way to clean dog crap out
of tennis shoes?
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The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask
how to operate the new coffeemaker received as
a wedding gift.
The salesman carefully explained how everything
worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed,
and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later the goober was back in the store
and the salesman asked her how she liked the
coffee maker.
"Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully
inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I
want to make a pot of coffee."
how to operate the new coffeemaker received as
a wedding gift.
The salesman carefully explained how everything
worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed,
and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later the goober was back in the store
and the salesman asked her how she liked the
coffee maker.
"Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully
inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I
want to make a pot of coffee."
•••
During a performance for the high school talent
show at the local theater, a hole was cracked in
the stage floor.
Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged
area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins,
accidentally stepped through the hole up to his
knee.
He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness.
But a heckler in the back of the theater shouted:
"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're
going through!"
show at the local theater, a hole was cracked in
the stage floor.
Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged
area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins,
accidentally stepped through the hole up to his
knee.
He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness.
But a heckler in the back of the theater shouted:
"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're
going through!"
••••
The drunken defendant appears yet again before
the tired judge, who says, "You have been
constantly appearing before me for the past
twenty years."
Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get
promoted?"
the tired judge, who says, "You have been
constantly appearing before me for the past
twenty years."
Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get
promoted?"
•••••
Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'
Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine.
But may I ask why you named your fourth child
George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine.
But may I ask why you named your fourth child
George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
••••••
Bob goes to pay his rent:
"What the hell?" says the landlord.
"That's only half of it!"
"True," says Bob, "but I thought you could ask
the cockroaches to chip in."
"What the hell?" says the landlord.
"That's only half of it!"
"True," says Bob, "but I thought you could ask
the cockroaches to chip in."
•••••••
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing
on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees
and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I
requested you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees,
4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees,
15 minutes east longitude?
What would we be doing?"
After a confused silence, a lone voice volunteered,
"I guess you'd be eating alone."
on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees
and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I
requested you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees,
4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees,
15 minutes east longitude?
What would we be doing?"
After a confused silence, a lone voice volunteered,
"I guess you'd be eating alone."
••••••••
I was booking a flight when the woman at Easyjet
said to me "and how many people will you be
flying with sir?"
I said "how should I know its your plane"
said to me "and how many people will you be
flying with sir?"
I said "how should I know its your plane"
