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My dog is getting lazy.......
He used to chase cars.
Now he just sits by the curb and writes down
license numbers.
He used to chase cars.
Now he just sits by the curb and writes down
license numbers.
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I am heavily medicated for your safety.
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I got in the express line at the market with at
least 50 items.
The man behind me said "Hey, this line is for
12 item or less.
I told him, "My name is Les."
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A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time,
and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make
them a few drinks, and as he's standing there
alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up, and as he's looking at it,
she walks back in.
He says, "What's this?"
She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."
He goes, "Geez... oooh.... I..."
She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen
to get an ashtray."
and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make
them a few drinks, and as he's standing there
alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up, and as he's looking at it,
she walks back in.
He says, "What's this?"
She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."
He goes, "Geez... oooh.... I..."
She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen
to get an ashtray."
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I went to Whole Foods to do my grocery shopping.
I now call it "Whole Paycheck".
I now call it "Whole Paycheck".
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