Down Hummingbird Lane

Co-workers sympathized as a coworker complained
that her back was really sore from moving
furniture.
"Why don't you wait until your husband gets
home?" someone asked.
"I could," She told the group.
"But the couch is easier to move if he's not on it.

••

 A woman with really hairy underarms boards a
crowded bus. 
Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto
one of the poles.
A drunk man next to her stares at her for a few
minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman who does
aerobics."
The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics."
The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, 
"Then how did you get your leg up so high?"

••

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out!

••

Chuck Norris only has one hand......
The upper hand.

••

Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit
school and work to help support his younger brothers and
sisters.
He never learned to read, so when he married and started a
checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".
Eventually he started his own business, which immediately
prospered.
He soon was a very rich man.
One day, he got a call from his bank.
"Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about
this check.
We weren't sure you had really signed it.
All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX',
 but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..."
Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend.
It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought
I ought to have a middle name."

••