Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.... friends and neighbors...
Partly sunny in the morning...then cloudy with rain
likely in the afternoon. Highs in the upper 40s. 
Chance of rain 60 percent.

~O~

~O~

~O~

♥♥♥

It's been a rocky week for the Stock Market..... Here's a summary:
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
 Ticonderoga Pencils lost a few points.
Though Elevators rose, escalators continued their slow decline.
 Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
The market for raisins dried up.
Pampers remained unchanged.
 Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Birds Eye Peas Split.
Stanley Tools filed for Chapter 11 and Scott Tissues touched
a new bottom.

~O~

T'was the night before Christmas
and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
They'd been worn all week and needed the air.

~O~

I called my work this morning and said,
"Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."
He said, "You have a wee cough?"

I said "Really?...... Thanks boss, see you next week!"

~O~

A guy walks into his doctor and says,
"Doc, you gotta help me, I can't remember anything!"
The doc asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
The guy says, "What problem?"

~O~

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic
collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
 We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens,
a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
 However, less widely known are: a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows
 (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens),
 an Exaltation of doves (and larks) and, presumably because they
look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
 Now consider a group of Baboons.
They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious,
most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.
 And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ....... a Congress!
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of
Washington!

~O~

This Red Neck guy down in Oklahoma was caught for shooting a
Bald Eagle.
The Game Warden saw the feathers in the back of the Red Neck's
pickup.
"Why would anyone shoot a Bald Eagle?" asked the Game Warden.
The Red Neck gave him a very convincing story about being desperate
for something to feed his family and not being able to bag any other
game.
So, the Game Warden decided to let him go with only a warning.
Right before the Red Neck drove away, the Game Warden said
"Just out of curiosity, what the heck does a Bald Eagle taste like,
anyway?'
"Well," drawled the Red Neck, "They're kind of a cross between
a Spotted Owl and a Whooping Crane."

~O~

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the
apartment over his.
“Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till
midnight.”
When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied,
“Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet
till about that time most every night anyway.”

~O~

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?A mosquito bit me.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Andy,
Andy Who?
And he bit me again!

~O~

~O~

Todays thought;

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

Rae's Trivia.....

Annually in China, over 100,000 Saint Bernards are slaughtered
and served as gourmet dishes in restaurants.
The number of Pekingese poodles that become entrees has not
been reported.