Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Good Morning.....
Rain today... Highs in the lower 60s.
South winds 5 to 10 mph.
Chance of rain 90 percent.
Christmas tree & outside lights going up....












♥♥♥

Pete, a computer programmer for a consulting group,
had designed some software for a large account.
He asked Gus's help in putting it into operation.
At first, Pete handled most of the work.
Eventually, though, he asked Gus to help with the last
phase of the training.
 When Gus sat down with one woman and told her he
would be showing her how to make changes to the files,
she sighed with relief.
 "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him,"
 she said.
 Surprised, Gus said that his colleague was far more
experienced than he was.
 "Yes," she said. "But I feel much more comfortable with
you.
I get nervous around really smart people."


The new young wife read her recipe.
It said to cover the turkey with aluminum foil and roast at
375 degrees until brown.
24 hours later the foil was still silver.


A Sunday school class studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one.
 The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
 Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."


Pete goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy
house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs
me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and
hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Pete," the boss replies.
"I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Pete, "I knew I could count on you!"


The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the
attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible.
He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and
kissed her.
 She pushed him away.
"Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said.
"I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.
"Really?" she said, softening, "How many models have
there been?"
"Four," he replied, "A jug, two apples, and a vase."


You can always tell who was raised in New York by how
they take a compliment when they're an adult.
Nice haircut.
Screw you...... Whats wrong with it?


Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding
after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the
bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to
pick up his dry cleaning.


Sign in a loan company window: 
"Now you can borrow enough money to get completely
out of debt."


In questioning potential jurors for an upcoming trial the
Judge inquired, " Is there any reason why any of you
cannot see this trial through to its conclusion?"
 A lone juror spoke up, "I can't!" stated the man,
"Why, just looking at the woman I'm convinced she's
guilty!"
"Sir" said the Judge, "that's the prosecutor."



 A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce
of a small town, obviously desperate. 
Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks,
"Is there a criminal attorney in town?"
To which the man behind the counter immediate
quipped, "Yea, but we can't prove it yet!"

Todays Thought;
The only thing we can remember about the speed of light
is the fact that it gets here too soon in the morning.

Rae's Trivia.....
Country singing star Johnny Horton, who recorded hits
such as "The Battle of New Orleans" and
"North to Alaska," was killed in a car crash in
Milano, Texas,  in 1960
Horton was born to a family of migrant workers in Texas. 
His hit singles crossed over to the pop charts. 
He also recorded such songs as "Johnny Reb" and
"Sink the Bismarck." 
Many music historians consider Horton a pioneer of
rockabilly music, a blend of honky-tonk country with
elements of rock and roll.



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