Rain....Rain... Highs in the upper 50s.
I'm reading 61
right now...
Temperature falling into the upper 40s in the afternoon.
Northeast winds 10 to 15 mph.
Chance of rain near 100 percent. some snow...
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Top Ten Signs You Ate Too Much At Thanksgiving ;
10.You’re sweatin’ giblets.
9.By the time everyone finished saying grace,
you were having seconds.
8.Like parade balloons, you require a dozen handlers
to navigate you to the couch.
7.To pry you from your chair, family slathers you in Crisco.
6.Asked yourself, “What would Chris Christie do?”
5.Pants button popped and knocked out grandma....
4.You’re visible from the International Space Station.
3.Your skin has taken on the hue of ham glaze.
2.Your ass went from Kourtney to Kim.
1.You have to loosen the buckle on your watch.....
10.You’re sweatin’ giblets.
9.By the time everyone finished saying grace,
you were having seconds.
8.Like parade balloons, you require a dozen handlers
to navigate you to the couch.
7.To pry you from your chair, family slathers you in Crisco.
6.Asked yourself, “What would Chris Christie do?”
5.Pants button popped and knocked out grandma....
4.You’re visible from the International Space Station.
3.Your skin has taken on the hue of ham glaze.
2.Your ass went from Kourtney to Kim.
1.You have to loosen the buckle on your watch.....
While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I
decided to do some shopping and soon became
separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk.
"I’m looking for my wife.
She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded........
"Take your pick."
decided to do some shopping and soon became
separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk.
"I’m looking for my wife.
She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded........
"Take your pick."
Seeing her friend Pat wearing a new locket,
Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Pat, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Pete’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.” ...
Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Pat, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Pete’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.” ...
Girl #1 (picking up box of baking soda):
I didn’t know soda was baked.
Girl #2: Thank God it’s not fried!
Do you know how many extra calories that would be?!
I didn’t know soda was baked.
Girl #2: Thank God it’s not fried!
Do you know how many extra calories that would be?!
The divorce proceedings had been long, contentious,
and extremely heated.
Finally, the husband's attorney rose for one last try at a
no-alimony settlement.
"Your Honor," he said, "my client sincerely believes his
wife is just being ridiculous.
Why, most women would love to have a husband who
still believes in chivalry and on the day in question,
he was only opening the door for her out of chivalry."
"Counselor," replied the judge, "I am granting the
divorce and the settlement Mrs. Smith is asking in its
entirely.
I simply cannot believe chivalry was the motivation for
your client opening that car door - while he was driving
down the freeway at 65 mph."
and extremely heated.
Finally, the husband's attorney rose for one last try at a
no-alimony settlement.
"Your Honor," he said, "my client sincerely believes his
wife is just being ridiculous.
Why, most women would love to have a husband who
still believes in chivalry and on the day in question,
he was only opening the door for her out of chivalry."
"Counselor," replied the judge, "I am granting the
divorce and the settlement Mrs. Smith is asking in its
entirely.
I simply cannot believe chivalry was the motivation for
your client opening that car door - while he was driving
down the freeway at 65 mph."
Children shouldn't be allowed to watch symphonies or
big bands on T.V.
There is too much sax and violins.
It can only lead to Treble.
big bands on T.V.
There is too much sax and violins.
It can only lead to Treble.
Postcard to Weather Bureau:
"Sirs: I thought you would be interested in knowing
that I have just finished shoveling three feet of partly
cloudy from my front steps."
"Sirs: I thought you would be interested in knowing
that I have just finished shoveling three feet of partly
cloudy from my front steps."
A youngster was telling a friend about the fishing trip
he and his father had taken.
"I did everything wrong!
I talked too loud and made too much noise.
I used the wrong bait.
I reeled in too soon or too late.
And worst of all I caught more fish than my dad did!"
he and his father had taken.
"I did everything wrong!
I talked too loud and made too much noise.
I used the wrong bait.
I reeled in too soon or too late.
And worst of all I caught more fish than my dad did!"
~ My wife said......
"You promised you'd give up drinking and become a
new man".
"I did" I replied.
"It's not my fault he likes to drink as much as me."
"You promised you'd give up drinking and become a
new man".
"I did" I replied.
"It's not my fault he likes to drink as much as me."
The parents of an eight-year-old boy, away at camp
for the first time, called him and were a bit disappointed
to discover that he hadn't missed them at all.
"Have any of the other kids gotten homesick?"
his mother asked.
"Only the ones who have dogs," replied the boy.
for the first time, called him and were a bit disappointed
to discover that he hadn't missed them at all.
"Have any of the other kids gotten homesick?"
his mother asked.
"Only the ones who have dogs," replied the boy.
Two brothers from the Third World have a lifelong
dream to emigrate to America.
They work hard and save their money.
After many years, they have saved enough money and
finally emigrate to New York.
Before they begin building their new lives in America,
they decide to see some of the famous places they
dreamed of for so long: the Statue of Liberty,
the Empire State Building, and others.
Eventually they make their way to Coney Island.
As they stroll down the beach, taking in all the newness
of America, they see a very large billboard that reads:
HOT DOGS, with a big arrow pointing down to a little hot
dog stand.
Being hungry and seeing that having an American hot
dog would be something new, they decide to try one.
So they order two hot dogs and sit on a nearby bench
to enjoy another piece of America.
The first brother sets his hot dog in his lap, unfolds the
paper wrapper, looks at his hot dog for moment, and
suddenly wraps it back up.
He then turns to brother and says,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
dream to emigrate to America.
They work hard and save their money.
After many years, they have saved enough money and
finally emigrate to New York.
Before they begin building their new lives in America,
they decide to see some of the famous places they
dreamed of for so long: the Statue of Liberty,
the Empire State Building, and others.
Eventually they make their way to Coney Island.
As they stroll down the beach, taking in all the newness
of America, they see a very large billboard that reads:
HOT DOGS, with a big arrow pointing down to a little hot
dog stand.
Being hungry and seeing that having an American hot
dog would be something new, they decide to try one.
So they order two hot dogs and sit on a nearby bench
to enjoy another piece of America.
The first brother sets his hot dog in his lap, unfolds the
paper wrapper, looks at his hot dog for moment, and
suddenly wraps it back up.
He then turns to brother and says,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Todays Thought;
When an elderly and distinguished scientist tells you
that something is possible, he is very probably right.
When he tells you that something is impossible,
he is very probably wrong. - Arthur C. Clarke
that something is possible, he is very probably right.
When he tells you that something is impossible,
he is very probably wrong. - Arthur C. Clarke
Rae's Trivia.....
Never squash a wasp that has stung you.
Upon being crushed, it will release a chemical that
becomes airborne; this signals guard wasps to come and
sting whatever gets in their way.
Upon being crushed, it will release a chemical that
becomes airborne; this signals guard wasps to come and
sting whatever gets in their way.
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