Down Hummingbird Lane

Good "Christmas Eve" Morning....
Are you ready...? The age old question...
Anyway today;
Mostly sunny.
Highs in the mid 40s.

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Yesterdays Sunrise.....

<(º¿º)>

♥♥♥

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because

"The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

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Hanukkah Songs That Never Quite Caught On:

- Oy to the World
- Schlepping through a Winter Wonderland
- Hava Negilah - The Megamix
- Bubbie Yetta Got Run Over by a Reindeer
- Enough with those Gosh Darn Jingle Bells Already...Sheez!
- Matzo Man (by the Lower East Side Village People)
- I Have a Little Dreidel (the Barking Dog Version)
- Come on Baby, Light My Menorah
- Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzos
- Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky

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 A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out,
"Don't take a step further."
She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she
would have otherwise been.
She thinks she imagined it and keeps walking until suddenly the
voice calls out again.
"Don't take a step further."
She stops and a car skids past.
Then suddenly she hears the voice saying "I am your guardian angel,
and I will warn you before something bad happens to you.
Now do you have any questions to ask me?"
Yes! Shouts the woman, "Just where were you on my wedding day!"

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A bought a faulty bamboo toboggan from a panda.

The panda ripped me off....... Now I feel bamboosled.

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A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress

would soon die.
 Sure enough, the woman died a short time later.
The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy
had brought about the woman's death.
He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command:
"Prophet, tell me when you will die!"
 The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him,
immediately, no matter what answer he gave.
So he said, finally, "I do not know when I will die.
I only know that whenever I die, you will die three days later."

☺

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to

have a baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband
rushed her to the hospital.
He held her hand as she went through a trying birth.
In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said,
"All right, who's the other father?"

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I tried to go Christmas shopping last year, but I didnt have no money.

I just went window-shopping with a brick.

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Kansas City, Missouri, where our

unidentified bozo wanted to pull off a carjacking.
It was his method that was questionable.
He jumped on the hood of a car, pointed a gun at the woman behind
the wheel and ordered her to drive...... And drive she did.
Straight to a nearby police station -- where she crashed the car
through a garage door. Our bozo, uninjured in the crash, was quickly
placed under arrest.

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Bought this really nice tree from a guy last night.

It already had lights and everything on it.
The guy sold it to me for $20,
I got a little suspicious tho,
1st thing he said was, You're not a cop are you??

☺

My dog kept chasing people on a bike

So we took his bike away.
Then he just sat in the yard and barked all day.
So we gave him his bike back.
Because his bark was worse than his bike.

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Todays Thought;

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas.
Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed. - P. J. O'Rourke
 

Rae's Trivia...

Cancer is any of a group of more than 100 related diseases
characterized by the uncontrolled multiplication of abnormal cells
in the body.

My Rant for today....

3 times this last week... Blogger went down while

I was posting... Today I waited 1 1/2 hours...

Lost some material each time...

Getting old.. no explanation...

Why?

I guess I better post before it goes again...

Merry Christmas to you! and the reindeer you flew in on!