Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Friends....
Well as usuall, I made a pig of my self..
Ate way too much....
But I guess thats what you do on Thanksgiving..
I had alot to be Thankful for.......

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Cool looking tree.....

"Sparky" ate too much too...

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How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?

Cats keep covering them over with sand.

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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at

various locations.........
Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience,
we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."

Sign at fast-food place:

"PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"

Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

 "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop:

"Order your summers suit.
Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Sign from the Soviet Weekly:

"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors.
These were executed over the past two years."

Sign in an East African newspaper:

"A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the
contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."

Sign in a Vienna hotel:

"In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."

Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

♫

Petewete  is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to

prove to the barman that he is sober.
He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says,
"You see that cat coming in the door?
It has two eyes.
If I were drunk, I'd see four!"
The bartender looks, then pauses a moment.
Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!",

taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in,

it's going out!"

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Nurse: Good morning Mr. Martin, you seem to be coughing

much more easily this morning.
Mr. Martin: That?s because I?ve been practicing all night.

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Recalled Christmas Toys........

1.Broken Bag-O-Glass
2.Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit
3.Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook
4.Timothy McVays home Chemistry set..
5.Switchblade Barney
6.Pork-n-Beany Babies
7.Make your own moonshine kit
8.Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)

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Answering Machine Message ........

Computer generated voices:
1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone
right now.
2: Yeah, nobody but us machines!

1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up! If you like,

you can leave your name and telephone number...
2: ...and a message! .......You forgot about the message!

1: Right. Leave your name, telephone number,

and a brief message after you hear the beep,
and we will keep track of this stuff until the real people get
back.
2: ...unless of course, sombody pulls out our plug!

♫

A wild-eyed man, dressed in a Napoleonic costume and

 hiding his right hand inside his coat, entered the
psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor....
I need your help right away."
 "I can see that," retorted the doctor.
"Lie down on that couch, and tell me your problem."
 "I don't have any problem," the man snapped.
"In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could
possibly want: money, women, power--everything!
But I'm afriad my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."
 "I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?"
 "For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man,
"she thinks she's Mrs. Martin."

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Todays Thought;

"It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything

but the best, you very often get it." - Somerset Maugham

Rae's Trivia......

The state fish of Hawaii is the HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA'A,

which is a form of trigger fish.
It is actually not too hard to pronounce if you notice the
epetition. HUMU - HUMU - NUKU - NUKU - APUA'A.

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