Nov. 1st... Todays weather:
Sunny. Highs in the upper 50s.
Northeast winds around 5 mph.
I've got 41ยบ right now...
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♥♥♥
~ "Gaddafi's sons are getting arrested.
A revolution is not the best time to be a dictator’s sons,
or as they’re called in Libya,.... dictator tots.
A revolution is not the best time to be a dictator’s sons,
or as they’re called in Libya,.... dictator tots.
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~ Whenever a stranger asked Little Johnny his name,
he would reply: “ I am Jim Brown’s son.”
His mother overheard him one day, and started to
correct him.
“ You should not say that.
Give your real name.”
A few days later someone asked him,
“ Aren’t you Jim Brown’s son?”
“I thought I was, but Mother says I’m not.”
he would reply: “ I am Jim Brown’s son.”
His mother overheard him one day, and started to
correct him.
“ You should not say that.
Give your real name.”
A few days later someone asked him,
“ Aren’t you Jim Brown’s son?”
“I thought I was, but Mother says I’m not.”
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When my Doctor asked me about what I did
yesterday, I told him about my day.
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge
of a deep pond, barely escaped from a fox in
the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up
and down a steep slope, stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand and barely escaped harm by
jumping away from an aggressive snake."
Inspired by my story, the Doctor said,
"You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a lousy golfer."
yesterday, I told him about my day.
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge
of a deep pond, barely escaped from a fox in
the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up
and down a steep slope, stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand and barely escaped harm by
jumping away from an aggressive snake."
Inspired by my story, the Doctor said,
"You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a lousy golfer."
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~ What do you feed your invisible cat?
Evaporated Milk!
Evaporated Milk!
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~ Chainsaws are better than women because....
--a chainsaw has an off switch
--I can diagnose and fix a chainsaw
--a chainsaw doesnt get upset when you use another saw
--a chainsaw wont scuff you up half as bad as a woman will
--I can do all the modifications i want to my saw and it wont look like joan rivers
--a chainsaw never has a headache
--lock both in the back of your truck and see which one
is happy to see you when you open it back up
--I dont mind too bad when my neighbor uses my
chainsaw !
--If i wear parts out on my saw I can get a replacements
--you can sharpen a chainsaw.....
--a chainsaw has an off switch
--I can diagnose and fix a chainsaw
--a chainsaw doesnt get upset when you use another saw
--a chainsaw wont scuff you up half as bad as a woman will
--I can do all the modifications i want to my saw and it wont look like joan rivers
--a chainsaw never has a headache
--lock both in the back of your truck and see which one
is happy to see you when you open it back up
--I dont mind too bad when my neighbor uses my
chainsaw !
--If i wear parts out on my saw I can get a replacements
--you can sharpen a chainsaw.....
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~ Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a
filling put in a tooth?
When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine,
the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."
~ Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a
filling put in a tooth?
When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine,
the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."
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~ Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if you are United, it is 6:00p.m.;
if you are TWA, it is 1800 hours;
if you are Delta, the big hand is on the........
Control tower: What airline is this?
Pilot: What difference does that make?
Control tower: Well if you are United, it is 6:00p.m.;
if you are TWA, it is 1800 hours;
if you are Delta, the big hand is on the........
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~ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPILS: A teacher.
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPILS: A teacher.
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~ Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof.
All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went
tumbling on the ground.
Laurel rushed down, reached Hardy who was lying
motionless and asked: “You still alive or dead?”
Hardy: “Alive.”
Laurel: “You mostly lie to me.
I don’t know whether to trust you or not.”
Hardy: “Then I must be dead.
You won’t dare to call me a liar if I were alive.”
All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went
tumbling on the ground.
Laurel rushed down, reached Hardy who was lying
motionless and asked: “You still alive or dead?”
Hardy: “Alive.”
Laurel: “You mostly lie to me.
I don’t know whether to trust you or not.”
Hardy: “Then I must be dead.
You won’t dare to call me a liar if I were alive.”
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~ Did you hear about the new Dracula doll?
Wind it up and it bites Barbie on the neck...
Wind it up and it bites Barbie on the neck...
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Todays Thought:
* Genius is the gold in the mind;
talent is the miner who digs it....
talent is the miner who digs it....
Rae's Trivia......
The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world
is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (S.M.O.M).
It is located in the city of Rome , Italy ,
has an area of two tennis courts
and, as of 2001, has a population of 80
-- 20 less people than the Vatican ..
It is a sovereign entity under international law,
just as the Vatican is.
is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (S.M.O.M).
It is located in the city of Rome , Italy ,
has an area of two tennis courts
and, as of 2001, has a population of 80
-- 20 less people than the Vatican ..
It is a sovereign entity under international law,
just as the Vatican is.
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