Down Hummingbird Lane

Good orning, Friends....
Patchy fog in the morning. Sunny, today....
Highs in the mid 60s.
Reading 39º this morning....
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~  When Colonel Gaddafi had a gun aimed at him,
I hope somebody had a sense of humor to yell....
"Gaddafi, Duck!"

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~  I was reading in the Readers Digest that if you want
your spouse to feel more appreciated you should at
least treat her as well as the family pet.... you know....
greet her when you come in the door from work each
night like you greet the dog or the cat.
 So I got home from work last night, went up to her,
patted her on the head, told her she was a good girl,
and threw her a milk bone.
 Now I'm in the dog house .... dang Readers Digest....

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~  Men are like an automobile......
As it gets older, the differential starts slipping,
and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go
bad.
The transmission won't go into high gear and
sometimes has difficulty getting out of low.
 The cylinders get worn and lose compression,
making it hard to climb the slightest incline.
When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the
point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to
the top.
 The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other
matter, making it hard to get started in the morning.
It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the
leaking hose.
 The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach
operating temperature.
The headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant
recharging.
 But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and
polished, giving the impression it can compete with
newer models and make one more trip down the
primrose lane before the head gasket blows.
 Gentlemen... start your engines!!

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~  You know, when I was 25, my haircuts took 20
minutes, now they take 5.
The good news is that I have used the same barber the
whole time.
They charge by the minute, so I have not seen a price
increase in 31 years.

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 ~  Lindsay Lohan was taken into custody --
the good news for her parents is they can see her
growing up in with all her mugshots.

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~  One day, while they were lounging in the Garden of
Eden, Eve turned to Adam and said, "Darling, do you
love me?"
To which Adam replied, "Of course, dear. Who else
could I love?"

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~  Two drunks are walking along.
One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night.
Look at that moon!"
 The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.
"You are wrong..... That's not the moon; that's the sun!"
 Both continued arguing for awhile when they came
upon another drunk walking along.
So they stopped him and said,
"Sir, could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining.
Is it the moon or the sun?"
 The third drunk look at the sky and then looked at them
and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

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~  Did you hear?
 A giant fly attacks police station....
Don't worry, the Swat team's been notified.......

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~  A man walked into a hotel and asked to book  a room.
  The clerk said, "I'm sorry sir, but we're completely full."
 Frustrated, the man said, "If the president of the United
States came in, I bet you'd have a room for him,
wouldn't you?"
 The clerk replied impatiently, "Of course, sir"
 "Well," said the man, "he won't be able to make it
tonight, so how about giving me his room?"

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~  Hell hath no fury....
like a pop tart that wasn't allowed to cool enough!

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Todays Thought:

* The book says, "We might be through with the past,
but the past ain't through with us." - Magnolia

Rae's Trivia.......

Desi Arnaz, from I Love Lucy, saw a dubbed Lucy show
while in Japan and heard himself "speaking" Japanese.
"It sounded so genuine," he later recalled, "that I had
to ask how they handled my lousy English.
 It was easy,’ said the producer.
 ’We just hired an actor who spoke lousy Japanese.'

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