I will sell you a great cold....Cheap!
I have a good one..... you know the routine....
Can't sleep...so here I am.... Aint I lucky??
Any way today; Mostly cloudy in the morning...
then becoming partly sunny.
Highs around 70. Southwest winds 5 to 10 mph.
I'm reading 46º right now......
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A few clouds yesterday morning...
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♥♥♥
~ A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty
crimes.
The judge said “Mr. Martin you are hereby fined $100.”
The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however
my client only has $75 on him at this time,
but if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd......
crimes.
The judge said “Mr. Martin you are hereby fined $100.”
The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however
my client only has $75 on him at this time,
but if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd......
☼
~ Pete wasn't very good at spelling.
During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the
word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Pete, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's reflection, Pete said, "Canoe?"
During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the
word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Pete, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's reflection, Pete said, "Canoe?"
☼
~ Two children went into their parent's bathroom and
noticed the scale in the corner.
"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger
one, "don't step on it!"
"Why not?" asked the sibling.
"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful
scream!"
noticed the scale in the corner.
"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger
one, "don't step on it!"
"Why not?" asked the sibling.
"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful
scream!"
☼
~ "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop,
"we don't have potted geraniums.
Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied Pete sadly, "No, it was geraniums my
wife told me to water while she was gone."
"we don't have potted geraniums.
Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied Pete sadly, "No, it was geraniums my
wife told me to water while she was gone."
☼
~ Q: Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom
attendant?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
attendant?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
☼
~ Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up
a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, "Where did he come from?"
"He came from heaven, Johnny."
"Wow! I can see why they threw him out!"
a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, "Where did he come from?"
"He came from heaven, Johnny."
"Wow! I can see why they threw him out!"
☼
~ The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and
demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in
the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir.
I`ll change you from 502 to 555.
Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?"
asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk,.... "it's on fire."
demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in
the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir.
I`ll change you from 502 to 555.
Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?"
asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk,.... "it's on fire."
☼
~ A couple 'hippie hangovers' had a daughter whom
they decided to name Destiny.
No one ever thought she would make anything of herself,
but after high school she went through hair cutting
college and was soon receiving praises far and wide for
her unique and fashionable styling skills.
People from all over now come in to have.......
a brush with Destiny.
they decided to name Destiny.
No one ever thought she would make anything of herself,
but after high school she went through hair cutting
college and was soon receiving praises far and wide for
her unique and fashionable styling skills.
People from all over now come in to have.......
a brush with Destiny.
☼
~ A doctor was woken at 3 a.m. to make a house call.
He forced himself to get out of bed and make his way
through a terrible snowstorm to his patient's house.
After he examined the patient, the doctor told the man
to send immediately for his lawyer, friends, and relatives,
and to make a will.
When the doctor got home, he told his wife what he'd
done.
"Why? Was the man that sick?" she asked.
"No" replied the doctor.
"I just didn't want to be the only one called out on such
a horrible night."
He forced himself to get out of bed and make his way
through a terrible snowstorm to his patient's house.
After he examined the patient, the doctor told the man
to send immediately for his lawyer, friends, and relatives,
and to make a will.
When the doctor got home, he told his wife what he'd
done.
"Why? Was the man that sick?" she asked.
"No" replied the doctor.
"I just didn't want to be the only one called out on such
a horrible night."
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Thought of the day:
* Advertising may be described as the science of
arresting human intelligence long enough to get money
from it. - Stephen Leacock
arresting human intelligence long enough to get money
from it. - Stephen Leacock
Rae's trivia......
In 1867, Russia sold Alaska to the United States for
$7,200,000.
The purchase was accomplished solely through the
determined efforts of US Secretary of State
William H. Seward, and for many years afterward the
land was derisively called "Seward's Folly" or
"Seward's Icebox" because of its supposed
uselessness.
It was not until after the discovery of gold in the Juneau
region in 1880 that Alaska was given a governor and a
local administration.
$7,200,000.
The purchase was accomplished solely through the
determined efforts of US Secretary of State
William H. Seward, and for many years afterward the
land was derisively called "Seward's Folly" or
"Seward's Icebox" because of its supposed
uselessness.
It was not until after the discovery of gold in the Juneau
region in 1880 that Alaska was given a governor and a
local administration.
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