Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Neighbors.....
Sunny Sunday......
Highs in the upper 40s.
I got 31º right now.....
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♥♥♥

~  The doctor warned his patient, "By drinking and
smoking as much as you do, you're killing yourself
slowly."
The patient just nodded.
"That's OK. 
I'm not in any hurry."

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~  Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged
good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck
roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the
month.

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~  One salesgirl in a candy store always had customers
lined up waiting while other girls stood around idle. 
The store owner asked for her secret.
"It's easy," she said. 
"The others scoop up more than a pound and then start
taking away. 
I scoop up less, then add to it."

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 ~ Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born,
roundhouse kick related deaths have increased
13,000 percent.

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~ After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash
last year, I took a half-dozen to the office.
I piled them on the table in the break room and posted
a sign advertising them as free.
 The next day I noticed an addition to my sign.
Below “Free Zucchini,” someone had written,
“Save the Whales.”

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~  Did you hear about the maple tree’s birthday?
It was a sappy one!

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~  What did the mother ghost say to her son
when they got into the car?
Put on your sheet belt.

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~ As we were getting ready to go to my son's
high-school graduation, he left to get something from
his car. 
He returned and handed me a dozen roses and a card
that read:  "Thank you, Mom, for all your love and
support, I love you."
 As we hugged and cried, I couldn't help thinking of the
expense, and chided him for being so extravagant. 
He replied that it was all right, he still had my credit card.

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~ A teenage boy I know continually challenges his
conservative father by wanting to have his ears pierced
or his hair dyed. 
He asked, "Dad, would it be okay if I had s-t-u-d shaved
 in the back of my head?"
 "Sure," came his father's reply. 
"But only if you add a y to it."

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Todays Thought:

* Anyone who has never made a mistake has never
tried anything new. - Albert Einstein

Rae's Trivia......

Postcards are a way to send message-bearing cards
through the mail without an envelope.
The earliest known picture postcard was sent in London
to the writer Theodore Hook in 1840.
Hook most likely created the hand-painted card and
sent it to himself as a practical joke on the postal
service, since the image on the card is a caricature of
post office workers.
 Deltiologists—collectors of postcards.......