Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Mostly cloudy today with a 40 percent chance of showers.
Highs in the mid 50s. Northwest winds 15 to 20 mph.
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~  Pete was taking his first plane ride, flying over the
Rocky Mountains.
The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum.
"It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,"
 she explains.
When the plane landed Pete rushed up to her.
"Miss," he said, "I'm meetin' me wife right away.
How do I get the gum out of me ears?"

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~  One day during cooking class, the teacher,
 Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing
perfect sauces.
When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our
assignments, she said, "Now don't forget to use
wooden spoons."
 As I stirred my sauce, I contempleted the physics
behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided
it must have something to do with heat conduction.
I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory.
"Why wooden spoons?" I asked.
 "Because, she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to
all your metal spoons banging against metal pots,
 I'd go nuts!"

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~  A passenger jet was suffering through a severe
thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the
turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting
next to her and with a nervous laugh asked,
“Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something
about this storm?”
 To which he replied, “Lady, I’m in sales, not management.”

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~  An expert on whales was telling friends about some
of the unusual findings he had made.
“For instance,” he said, “some whales can communicate
at a distance of 300 miles.”
 “What on earth would one whale say to another 300
miles away?” asked a sarcastic member of the group.
 “I’m not absolutely sure,” answered the expert,
“but it sounds something like this:
‘Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!’

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~  Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy.
There were no survivors.

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~  A woman went to the beach with her children.
Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand,
and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the
sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked.
"He died and went to heaven," she replied.
The child thought for a moment and said,
"And God threw him back down?"

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~  Three old couples were having tea one fine day.
There were all chatting and whatnot when one of the
men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife,
"Pass the honey, honey!” Getting the chuckle he
expected, he carried on.
A moment later, the second man said, "Pass the sugar,
sugar!"
This got a bit of a bigger laugh, so the third man,
although not quite as clever or quick-witted as the other
two, decided to join in the fun.
He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat
and then confidently said,
"Pass the tea, bag!"

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Todays Thought:

* The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony
with human ambition. - Carl Sagan

Rae's Trivia.......

After being forced by church officials to state in public
that the earth does not rotate, Galileo is said to have
muttered under his breath, "But it does move."

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