Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Every one....
 Today it's Snow and rain in the morning...
then rain likely with a chance of snow in the afternoon.
Precipitation may be heavy at times in the morning.
Total snow accumulation of 3 to 5 inches.
Highs in the upper 30s.
Chance of precipitation near 100 percent.
(I don't think we're gonna get anywere close to this....
I'm reading 35º now....
and only light rain....)
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~  Years ago when my two girls were small, they were
taught how to say their blessing before eating their meal.
One night as I was busy scurrying around the kitchen,
I told them both to stay their blessings without me.
I took a moment to watch them as they both squeezed
their eyes tightly shut over folded hands.
As my 4-year-old finished, her 3-year-old sister kept on
praying.
Another minute or two passed before she lifted her head,
looked at her plate, and in an indignant voice said,
"Hey! My peas are still here!"

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~  How about the dumb redneck truck driver who took
his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun
tanned!

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~  An old redneck had been working industriously
with a stub pencil and a piece of paper.
Suddenly he looked up and smiled. He exclaimed,
"Doggoned it Maw, if I ain't done learned to write."
 Maw got up and looked at the lines scrawled across the
paper.
"What does it say" ?
 "I don't know", the redneck replied,
"I ain't learned to read yet."

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~  A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy,
"So your Mother says your prayers for you each night? 
That's very Commendable.
What does she say?"   
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

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~  For Halloween I'm going to wear a pacman suit and
chase Muslim women in burkas around the town center..

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~   A lady golfer who visits a driving range to tone up
before a game, is about to tee off, when she notices the
man next to her. 
"Pardon me, sir." she said.
"You are aiming in the wrong direction back towards
the golf shop."
 "Oy! tanks for dat. 
Vitout you, I vouldn't know.  I'm blind." 
He then turns around and starts hitting out into the range. 
After a few minutes, he asks the lady how he is doing.
 "Not bad," she answers. 
"Most of your shots are straight and fairly long. 
Only a few of them are slicing."
 "Tanks, again, Missus," he replies.
"Vitout you telling, I wouldn't know dese tings."
A few shots later, he enquires again. 
"Do you mind I should ask a poisonal question?"
 "Not at all," she replies.
 "I don't do vell vit the ladies.......  Am I ugly or vat?"
 "You're quite presentable," she replies. 
"I don't think that should be a problem."
 Smiling now, he exults, "Vat a relief. 
I vas always afraid to ask.
Again, I got to tank you."
 He was about to hit another ball when the lady
interrups him.
"Do you mind if I give you a bit of advice?" she asks.
 "Vit gladness.....  All de help you got I vill take."
he answers.
 "Lose the Jewish accent," she replies.
"You're Chinese."

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~  Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in
blue?
Because they can't dress themselves.

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~  I was sitting with my friend Cindy and some of her
classmates when they began discussing a written
report they had been assigned. 
Cindy, who had already chosen a topic and had begun
to research it, was upset that their instructor wanted
them to work in pairs. 
She voiced strong opinions about what a liability a
partner could be.
 "What topic did you choose?" I asked.
 "The importance of teamwork," she admitted
sheepishly.

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~  Q: What will happen if the DOW average falls any
further?
A: They'll add a N to the end of it!

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Todays Thought:

 * Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

Rae's Trivia.....

The squirrel monkey’s brain accounts for roughly
5 percent of its body weight.
the largest percentage of any animal.
The human brain, by comparison, makes up about 2.3
percent of body weight.