# 1,450

Good Morning, Friends...
Well it's TGIF day.....
Partly sunny in the morning...
then becoming mostly cloudy.
Highs in the upper 40s.
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~  A customer who's hair kept falling out complained
to his barber.
"That stuff you gave me," he cried, "it's terrible!
You said three bottles of it would make my hair grow,
but nothing's happened."
"I do not understand it," said the barber.
"That is the best hair restorer made."
"Well," said Pete, "In that case, I'll drink another bottle,
 but it better work this time!"

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~  Pete and Gusl were in the local bar enjoying a beer
when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn,
each had won a prize.
Gus won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti
sauce and extra-long spaghetti.
Pete won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back
in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers.
Pete asked Gus how he liked his prize, to which Gus
replied, "Great, I love spaghetti!
How about you, how's that toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Pete ,
"I reckon I'm going to go back to paper."

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~  After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice it."

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 ~  A few moments after the daughter announces her
engagement.
 Her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"
The daughter shook her head sadly.
"Oh Daddy !..... You men are all alike.
Sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he
asked me about you."

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~  A woman who plays cards one night a month with a
group of friends was concerned that she always woke
up her husband when she came home around 11:30.
 So she decided to be considerate and not rouse him
this time.
She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm,
tiptoed nude into the bedroom, only to find him sitting
up in bed, reading.
 "Oh No!" he exclaimed.
"Did you lose EVERYTHING?!?"

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~  A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his
congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did
not finish until rather late.
They decided to have something to eat before going
 home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy
bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.
After being served, one of the elders asked the
clergyman to say grace.
'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said,
' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'

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~  A man serving as church usher was escorting
parishioners to their seats before the service began. 
After greeting two strangers at the entrance, he asked
where they wanted to sit. 
Looking confused, one of the newcomers then smiled
and replied, "Nonsmoking, please."

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 ~  went to the shrink & spent $100.00 per Hour....
To lay there on that couch & didn't lose one ounce of
weight, Im pretty sure that shrink is refering to the cash
in my wallet not my Diet!

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~  The science teacher stood in the front of the class
and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material
 in the world, what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold,
because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a
Corvette."
The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because
platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a
Porsche."
The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."
The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone, Little Johnny?"
"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you
should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

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~  What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
"Decalfinated"

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~  A mother gave her teenage daughter a car for her
eighteenth birthday. 
As she handed over the keys she explained to the girl
that it was a magic car. 
The girl was very excited and asked what it did. 
"Well," said mom, "just get one ticket and you'll see
it disappear."

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Todays Thought:

* "When the student is ready the teacher will appear."
 - Buddhist Proverb

Rae's Trivia......

Scientists discover approximately 7,000 to 10,000
new insect species every year, and it is believed that
there are between 1 million and 10 million species yet
unfound.

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