today were gonna have..
Partly sunny. Highs in the lower 70s.
Northeast winds around 5 mph...
Reading 57º right now...
Colder weather is coming.....
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~ I went in to the vets yesterday with my dog and said
to the blonde woman behind the counter,
"Have you got a cure for fleas?"
"That depends," she replied, "what's wrong with them?"
to the blonde woman behind the counter,
"Have you got a cure for fleas?"
"That depends," she replied, "what's wrong with them?"
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~ It's been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who
sit at home and have conversations with their cats are
mentally disturbed."
My dog's full of useful information like that.
sit at home and have conversations with their cats are
mentally disturbed."
My dog's full of useful information like that.
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~ The old man approached a young stranger in the
post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this
postcard for me?"
The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a
short note for the old fellow.
Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else
I can do for you?"
The old man thought a moment and said,
"Yes, at the end could you add,
Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."
post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this
postcard for me?"
The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a
short note for the old fellow.
Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else
I can do for you?"
The old man thought a moment and said,
"Yes, at the end could you add,
Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."
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~ After the fall, Adam was walking with his sons Cain
and Abel.
As they were passing the locked gates of the Garden of
Eden, one of the boys asked, “What’s this?”
Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us
out of house and home.”
and Abel.
As they were passing the locked gates of the Garden of
Eden, one of the boys asked, “What’s this?”
Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us
out of house and home.”
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~ An old man was critically ill.
Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer.
"I want to become a lawyer.
How much is that express degree you told me about?"
"It's $50,000," the lawyer said.
"But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to
become a lawyer?"
"That's my business! Get me the course!"
Four days later, the old man got his law degree.
His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill
would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing
and it was clear that this would be the end.
Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
"please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to
to get a law degree so badly before you died?"
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man
said, "One less lawyer . . ."
Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer.
"I want to become a lawyer.
How much is that express degree you told me about?"
"It's $50,000," the lawyer said.
"But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to
become a lawyer?"
"That's my business! Get me the course!"
Four days later, the old man got his law degree.
His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill
would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing
and it was clear that this would be the end.
Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
"please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to
to get a law degree so badly before you died?"
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man
said, "One less lawyer . . ."
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~ When Arnold says "I'll be back" in the Terminator
movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris
for help.
movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris
for help.
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~ Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10?
A: A lawyer.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
A: A lawyer.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
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~ My wife just explained.....
to me that when she says "What?" it is not because
she didn't hear me.
She is simply giving me an opportunity to rethink what
I just said.
to me that when she says "What?" it is not because
she didn't hear me.
She is simply giving me an opportunity to rethink what
I just said.
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Todays Thought:
* The difference between the right word and the almost
right word is the difference between lightning and a
lightning bug. - Mark Twain
right word is the difference between lightning and a
lightning bug. - Mark Twain
Rae's Trivia....
Of the fifty-six signers of the Declaration of
Independence, about two-thirds of these men were
lawyers, judges, and merchants, but about ten of them
had what down-to-earth vocations as FARMER's
Independence, about two-thirds of these men were
lawyers, judges, and merchants, but about ten of them
had what down-to-earth vocations as FARMER's
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