Partly sunny.Today..
A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms
in the afternoon. Highs in the lower 80s.....
Chance of rain 20 percent.
☺
Whales for Breakfast??
Looks kinda weird....
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I'd reather have breakfast from these food groups...
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This chap stick will also keep hunger away....
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The cat has a frog "Buddy"
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Yeah, you might wanna leave...
It's gonna get messy...
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Barbara's cat loved a string or ribbon,
could play for hours...
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You just wait till the Mommy's get a hold of you....
It aint over until the fat Lady sings....
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What can you say??
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You think it will take a new engine?
you can count on it....
100 miles??
☺
No lumps, please....
Seems to be the way, lately...
☺
Well.. off to see the wizard....
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☺
♥♥♥
~~ 500 years ago when men went to war it was
common for them to force their wives to wear
chastity belts while they were away.
Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could
remove these chastity belts.
This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most
common name in the phonebook.
common for them to force their wives to wear
chastity belts while they were away.
Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could
remove these chastity belts.
This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most
common name in the phonebook.
☺
~ My neighbor has two dogs.
One of them says to the other, "Woof!"
The other replies, "Moo!"
The dog is perplexed.
"Moo? Why did you say, 'Moo'?"
The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign
language."
One of them says to the other, "Woof!"
The other replies, "Moo!"
The dog is perplexed.
"Moo? Why did you say, 'Moo'?"
The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign
language."
☺
* An older couple wakes up in the morning and the
husband looks over at his wife and says,
" Wow! You wouldn't believe the dream I had..."
The wife replies, "Yes, go on tell me."
So the husband says "I had a dream that you left me
after 20 years of being married."
The wife says, "Oh, it sounds more like a nightmare."
The husband says, "No, I am sure it was a dream."
* An older couple wakes up in the morning and the
husband looks over at his wife and says,
" Wow! You wouldn't believe the dream I had..."
The wife replies, "Yes, go on tell me."
So the husband says "I had a dream that you left me
after 20 years of being married."
The wife says, "Oh, it sounds more like a nightmare."
The husband says, "No, I am sure it was a dream."
☺
* During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another
car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the
Wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he
pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
him the keys.. "Yours is."
driving down a muddy back road encountered another
car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the
Wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he
pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
him the keys.. "Yours is."
☺
A the coffee shop ;
Can I get a decaf cappuccino?
Actually, we only sell regular cappuccino.
Okay, I'll have one of those.....
Just give me your phone number so I have somebody
to talk to when I can't sleep tonight.
Can I get a decaf cappuccino?
Actually, we only sell regular cappuccino.
Okay, I'll have one of those.....
Just give me your phone number so I have somebody
to talk to when I can't sleep tonight.
☺
* Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother,
an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around
straightening up.
She put my father and brother to work cleaning the
guest bathroom.
Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised
that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so
quickly.
Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains.
It read, “Thank you for not looking in the bathtub.”
an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around
straightening up.
She put my father and brother to work cleaning the
guest bathroom.
Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised
that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so
quickly.
Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains.
It read, “Thank you for not looking in the bathtub.”
☺
* Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a
bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
☺
~~ A journalist goes to Iraq and is surprised to
see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front
of them.
The journalist approaches a local and says,
"I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for
wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?"
"It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with
the war."
"How did the war change things?" The journalist
enquired.
The local replied, "Land mines."
see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front
of them.
The journalist approaches a local and says,
"I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for
wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?"
"It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with
the war."
"How did the war change things?" The journalist
enquired.
The local replied, "Land mines."
☺
* Chuck Norris was originally considered for the part of
Jesus in the Passion of the Christ.
However, the director realized that Chuck Norris cannot
show the emotion of pain....... He can only inflict it.
☺
* Remember: "Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not only an
effective fire safety technique, but also a memorable
way out of a boring conversation.
effective fire safety technique, but also a memorable
way out of a boring conversation.
☺
~ Have you heard about the latest new drug?
When administered to women,
it gives them the irresistible urge to join a convent.
The FDA refuses to approve it, though.
They fear it will be habit-forming.
☺
* After spending several weeks concentrating on vowels,
The teacher reviewed the lessons with her students to
determine how much they had learned.
"Why are vowels so important?" She asked.
After a pause one boy answered,
"So we can play 'Wheel of Fortune'."
The teacher reviewed the lessons with her students to
determine how much they had learned.
"Why are vowels so important?" She asked.
After a pause one boy answered,
"So we can play 'Wheel of Fortune'."
☺
☺
Todays Thought:
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country,
we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of
thought, and the wisdom never to use either. - Mark Twain
we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of
thought, and the wisdom never to use either. - Mark Twain
Rae's Trivia....
In the spring of 2000, it was reported that a 25-year-old
Tehran transsexual, who had just undergone extensive
surgery to become a woman, said he wanted to change
back to a man after realizing just how poorly women are
treated in Iran.
Tehran transsexual, who had just undergone extensive
surgery to become a woman, said he wanted to change
back to a man after realizing just how poorly women are
treated in Iran.
Thanks to the spammers..
no commits....
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