Mostly cloudy with a chance of showers, Today....
A slight chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs in the mid 70s. . Chance of rain 40 percent.
Not bad for a Friday....
(notice... Had to close the commits, Spammers got too bad.
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Don't this look good...
Makes me hungry just looking.....
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Bad Eggs??
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Okay, okay...I'll leave you alone....
I don't care......
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I thought so........
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Must be listening to heavy Metal??
Bluegrass is better.....
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Driving school?
Must have been some rough drivers....
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Somebody get me another glass...
This one has a quack in it.....
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What can you say...
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Gotta work in comfort....
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Pete... you like my new wheels??
Cool Huh...?
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♥♥♥
~~ Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of
long distance phone service and debating the relative
advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.
"I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around,"
offered one.
"CTC? Who are they?"
"You know," he responded. "Call Them Collect."
☼
~~ Two drunken men were driving home.
The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall,
watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam!
They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man asked his
friend: - You good for nothing, I was screaming for
you to watch out, why didn't you?
The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall,
watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam!
They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man asked his
friend: - You good for nothing, I was screaming for
you to watch out, why didn't you?
Jim answered him: -
IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!
IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!
☼
~~ An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the
road, hurrying to get to church on time.
Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the
ground.
Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor
called out, "All you angels in heaven, help me get up on
my horse!"
With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse's
back”and fell off the other side.
From the ground again, he called out, "All right, just
half of you angels this time!"
road, hurrying to get to church on time.
Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the
ground.
Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor
called out, "All you angels in heaven, help me get up on
my horse!"
With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse's
back”and fell off the other side.
From the ground again, he called out, "All right, just
half of you angels this time!"
☼
~~ Sam had proposed to young Lisa and was being
interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.
"Do you think you are earning enough to support a
family?" the older man asked the suitor.
"Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I am."
"Well," said Lisa's father, "think carefully now.
There are six of us."
interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.
"Do you think you are earning enough to support a
family?" the older man asked the suitor.
"Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I am."
"Well," said Lisa's father, "think carefully now.
There are six of us."
☼
~~ My Uncle had his tongue shot off during World
War II.
He doesn't talk about it, though.
War II.
He doesn't talk about it, though.
☼
~~ The lawyer looked at his client and said,
"I've got some good news and some bad news,"
The client said, "well gee, I guess lets here the good
news first."
So the lawyer said "You're wife has found a picture
worth One Million dollars."
The client replied, "Oh that's fantastic!
But whats the bad news?"
"It's a picture of you and your secretary."
"I've got some good news and some bad news,"
The client said, "well gee, I guess lets here the good
news first."
So the lawyer said "You're wife has found a picture
worth One Million dollars."
The client replied, "Oh that's fantastic!
But whats the bad news?"
"It's a picture of you and your secretary."
☼
~~ There was this businessman.. who had to meet an
important prospective client at the airport.
While at the airport bar waiting for his potential client,
he sees Bill Gates sitting by himself in the corner.
With nothing to lose, he walks over and introduces
himself to Bill: "Hello Mr. Gates, I am a big fan and was
wondering if you could do me a favour?"
"That depends ." Replies Bill.
"You see, in a few minutes a prospective client is going
to meet me here, and if I get his business it will change
my life.
Could you please walk by and greet me as if we were
long lost friends?....... My name is Chuck!"
"Sure!" Bill agrees happily.
A little later Chuck is in the middle of his meeting and
Bill walks up.
"Hi Chuck, It's been a long time!
How have you been?"
Chuck looks at Bill and says with conviction,
"GodDammit, Gates, can't you see I'm in a meeting!"
important prospective client at the airport.
While at the airport bar waiting for his potential client,
he sees Bill Gates sitting by himself in the corner.
With nothing to lose, he walks over and introduces
himself to Bill: "Hello Mr. Gates, I am a big fan and was
wondering if you could do me a favour?"
"That depends ." Replies Bill.
"You see, in a few minutes a prospective client is going
to meet me here, and if I get his business it will change
my life.
Could you please walk by and greet me as if we were
long lost friends?....... My name is Chuck!"
"Sure!" Bill agrees happily.
A little later Chuck is in the middle of his meeting and
Bill walks up.
"Hi Chuck, It's been a long time!
How have you been?"
Chuck looks at Bill and says with conviction,
"GodDammit, Gates, can't you see I'm in a meeting!"
☼
~~ There was a Midwestern phone company that was
going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,
and the boss had to choose between a team of two
Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys.
So the boss met with both teams and said:
"Here's what we'll do... Each team will be installing
poles out on the new road for a day.
The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."
Both teams headed right out.
At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came
back and the boss asked them how many they had
installed.
They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in
twelve.
Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven, the Norwegian
guys came back in and they were totally exhausted.
The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys
install?"
Ole, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed,
"Sven and me, we got three in."
The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in
twelve!"
"Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they
left stickin' out of the ground.
going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,
and the boss had to choose between a team of two
Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys.
So the boss met with both teams and said:
"Here's what we'll do... Each team will be installing
poles out on the new road for a day.
The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."
Both teams headed right out.
At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came
back and the boss asked them how many they had
installed.
They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in
twelve.
Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven, the Norwegian
guys came back in and they were totally exhausted.
The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys
install?"
Ole, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed,
"Sven and me, we got three in."
The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in
twelve!"
"Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they
left stickin' out of the ground.
☼
~~ My son is in training so I've developed this
'weighted glove system' & have been punching my son
in the stomach for months, finally it's toughened him
up & he has a six pack.
This won't work for everyones abdominal muscles of
course..
It's only for child ab use.
'weighted glove system' & have been punching my son
in the stomach for months, finally it's toughened him
up & he has a six pack.
This won't work for everyones abdominal muscles of
course..
It's only for child ab use.
☼
~ SITCOM ZINGERS....
Frank: I didn't come here to be liked.
Radar: You certainly came to the right place.
M*A*S*H
Ralph: You have just made fun of something very big
that's close to my heart.
Alice: The only thing big that's close to your heart is
your stomach.
THE HONEYMOONERS
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
THE GOLDEN GIRLS
Frank: I didn't come here to be liked.
Radar: You certainly came to the right place.
M*A*S*H
Ralph: You have just made fun of something very big
that's close to my heart.
Alice: The only thing big that's close to your heart is
your stomach.
THE HONEYMOONERS
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
THE GOLDEN GIRLS
☼
* If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors
beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time?
Chuck Norris.
beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time?
Chuck Norris.
☼
~ The reason there are two senators for each state is
so that one can be the designated driver.
so that one can be the designated driver.
☼
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Todays Thought:
We must believe in luck.
For how else can we explain the success of those we
don't like. - Jean Cocteau
For how else can we explain the success of those we
don't like. - Jean Cocteau
Rae's Trivia....
In the spring of 2000, it was reported that a 25-year-old
Tehran transsexual, who had just undergone extensive
surgery to become a woman, said he wanted to change
back to a man after realizing just how poorly women are
treated in Iran.
Tehran transsexual, who had just undergone extensive
surgery to become a woman, said he wanted to change
back to a man after realizing just how poorly women are
treated in Iran.
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