Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Friends.....
Mostly sunny, Today......
fog in the morning. Isolated showers and
thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs in the upper 70s.
☼

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~  Reaching back to the Regan days in office....
Barack Obama has reportedly started holding a weekly
séance in the Oval Office.
So far, he has only managed to channel Jimmy Carter.

☼

~ A famous speaker said “The best years of my life
were spent in the arms of a beautiful woman who wasn’t
my wife!”
 Audience was shocked.
The speaker added: “that woman was my mother!”
(Laughter and Applause)
Pete tried it at his home.
 He said loudly to his wife, “The greatest years of my life
were spent in the arms of a very beautiful woman who
was not my Wife!”
 Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the
second half of the joke, he finally said “…
and I can’t remember who she was!”
and he regained his consciousness in a hospital bed.

☼

~    Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife,
43, who was looking for some hot action!
So I sent her my ironing.
That'll keep her busy.

☼
 ~    Did you hear about the...
* Brake company on the skids?
* Bra manufacturers that went bust?
* Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
* Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
* Baker who was short of dough?
* Refrigerator manufacturer that had it's assets frozen?
* Corset firm that felt the squeeze?
* Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?
* Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
* Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
* Downfall of the bungee suppliers?
* The train company that went off the rails?
* The ship building company that sunk?
* The dental practice that was rotten to its roots?

☼

~  The New York Times, among other papers,
recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope
photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
 Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding
galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly
improved resolution provided by the Hubble,
you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

☼
 ~  So the government is cutting the number of
people who work in unemployment centers.
Oh well, at least they'll still get to go to the office once
a week.

☼

~  My son suffers from Autism and spends most of the
day thinking he's a pigeon.
I know you shouldn't laugh, but it is funny when he
shits all over the neighbours car.

Todays thought:

Don't part with your illusions.
When they are gone you may still exist,
but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain
 

Rae's Trivia....

Iceberg lettuce got it's name from the fact that California
 growers started shipped it covered with heaps of
crushed ice in the 1920s.
It had previously been called Crisphead lettuce.
Iceberg lettuce is 90% water and has very little flavor,
and almost no nutrients.