Partly sunny, Today....
A slight chance of thunderstorms in the morning.
Highs in the mid 70s. Chance of rain 40 percent.
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A nice Sunrise....
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This is "Miss Sadie"
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I don't know what this is??...
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Big Sale going on......Seriously.....
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You just like Ham......
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Go catch that mouse in the kitchen......
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You ain't gonna give some to the baby??
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No thickburgers for me....
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One heart attack comming up....
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Eno will never learn.....
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I'll leave you with this one.....What a Mess!
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☼♥♥♥
~ A couple of opposing candidates for county office
happened to be sitting next to each other in the local
diner.
One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm
going to win this election?
Because of my 'personal touch.'
For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then
ask them to vote for me."
"Oh, really?" replied the other.
"I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you."
happened to be sitting next to each other in the local
diner.
One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm
going to win this election?
Because of my 'personal touch.'
For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then
ask them to vote for me."
"Oh, really?" replied the other.
"I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you."
☼
~ From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded
man on a small island who is shouting and desperately
waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea.....
Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
~ From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded
man on a small island who is shouting and desperately
waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea.....
Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
☼
~ A man phones a lawyer and asks,
“How much would you charge for just answering three
simple questions?”
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars.”
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man.
“That’s very expensive isn’t it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer.
“Now, what’s your third question?”
“How much would you charge for just answering three
simple questions?”
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars.”
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man.
“That’s very expensive isn’t it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer.
“Now, what’s your third question?”
☼
~ A wife returning from a fishing trip with her husband
was telling her troubles to a neighbor.
"I did everything all wrong again today," she said.
"I talked too loud, I used the wrong bait,
I reeled in too soon, and I caught more than he did."
was telling her troubles to a neighbor.
"I did everything all wrong again today," she said.
"I talked too loud, I used the wrong bait,
I reeled in too soon, and I caught more than he did."
☼
~ I was selling a pistol on line, and an offer came
from the guy with a compressor saying that his
compressor was worth more than my gun.
I asked him how many 7-11's he robbed with a
compressor?...... He paid me cash!
~ I was selling a pistol on line, and an offer came
from the guy with a compressor saying that his
compressor was worth more than my gun.
I asked him how many 7-11's he robbed with a
compressor?...... He paid me cash!
☼
~ In the library of a small Virginia town, a new
"Who's Who" had just arrived and the librarian was
looking through it for names of local notables.
In walked the president of a local organization.
When asked if his name might be in it, he answered,
"No, I'm in "Who's He?"
"Who's Who" had just arrived and the librarian was
looking through it for names of local notables.
In walked the president of a local organization.
When asked if his name might be in it, he answered,
"No, I'm in "Who's He?"
☼
~ was at Walmart shopping the other day & heard a
woman come over the loud speaker,
"Attention Kmart Shoppers..."
There was a long pause & then she said,"
You're in the wrong store."
woman come over the loud speaker,
"Attention Kmart Shoppers..."
There was a long pause & then she said,"
You're in the wrong store."
☼
~ Need a reason for being late to work?
Don't try these—they didn't help any of the workers
who actually used them.
My deodorant was frozen to the windowsill.
My car door fell off.
I dreamed I was already at work.
I had an early-morning gig as a clown.
Don't try these—they didn't help any of the workers
who actually used them.
My deodorant was frozen to the windowsill.
My car door fell off.
I dreamed I was already at work.
I had an early-morning gig as a clown.
☼
~ Man reading message found in bottle washed ashore:
"I'm marooned on a tropical island with no taxes,
pollution, or traffic.....
Eat your heart out."
"I'm marooned on a tropical island with no taxes,
pollution, or traffic.....
Eat your heart out."
☼
~ I was reading this article the other day, and it said,
The perfect way to spice up your love life is to make love
in a car wash.
Let me tell you guys from experience --
no, it is not.
Its also the perfect way to ruin a church fundraiser.
The perfect way to spice up your love life is to make love
in a car wash.
Let me tell you guys from experience --
no, it is not.
Its also the perfect way to ruin a church fundraiser.
☼
~ While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist
capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him
clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore,
the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain't been any for
years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the
shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get
rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him
clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore,
the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain't been any for
years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the
shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get
rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
☼
~ I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a
dude hiding behind a gravestone.
I said, "Morning."
He replied, "No, just taking a poop."
☼
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Todays Thought:
Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a
cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty.
Henry Ford
cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty.
Henry Ford
Rae's Trivia....
John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Jack Ruby all
have one thing in common: they share the same place
of death, Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, Texas.
Ruby, convicted murderer of Oswald, died on
January 3, 1967, from a blood clot that lodged in his
lungs.
He was suffering from lung cancer.
have one thing in common: they share the same place
of death, Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, Texas.
Ruby, convicted murderer of Oswald, died on
January 3, 1967, from a blood clot that lodged in his
lungs.
He was suffering from lung cancer.
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