Todays weather Mostly Sunny....
Scattered showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs in the lower 80s. Chance of rain 30 percent.
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How about a nice Sunrise....?
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Don't need news that hits home, thank you.....
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I don't know... I would think the
Bacon would taste funny.......
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Just smack them.. they will leave.....
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Now that just might take all 9 lives away....
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Must have wanted to get outside pretty bad......
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Yeah, I can tell by the eyes....
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Hope and change.....
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I feel for yah, yoda.....
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I don't think they wanna get in the water
said the water was too cold......
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I gotta go... got some people mad at me.....
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♥♥♥
* A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders
(about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in
Lichten Vourde,the Netherlands.
The vet had been trying to convince a farmer that his
cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged
flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000.
The cow was unharmed. AP
(about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in
Lichten Vourde,the Netherlands.
The vet had been trying to convince a farmer that his
cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged
flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000.
The cow was unharmed. AP
☼
* Employed by the human-development center of a
corporation in the midwest, my friend trains employees
in proper dress codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator,
a man casually dressed in
jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded,
"Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"
The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the
company..."
* Employed by the human-development center of a
corporation in the midwest, my friend trains employees
in proper dress codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator,
a man casually dressed in
jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded,
"Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"
The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the
company..."
☼
* A man wanted a pet for his daughter.
She had been getting good grades at school, and was
helping out around the house without protest.
He went to the local pet shop to see what they had.
He looked at a baby rabbit, a baby chick and a baby
duck.
They were all very cute, but he decided to buy the baby
chick.
Do you know why?
It was a little cheeper!
She had been getting good grades at school, and was
helping out around the house without protest.
He went to the local pet shop to see what they had.
He looked at a baby rabbit, a baby chick and a baby
duck.
They were all very cute, but he decided to buy the baby
chick.
Do you know why?
It was a little cheeper!
☼
* Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris.
Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded
to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way
to die.
Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded
to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way
to die.
☼
* A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a
drunk who is closely examining something held in his
fingers.
The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally
gets curious enough to ask what it is.
"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels
like rubber."
"Let me have it," said the lawyer.
Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and
forefinger, examining it closely.
"Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and
feels like rubber, but i don't know what it is.
Where did you get it?"
"From my nose," the drunk replied.
drunk who is closely examining something held in his
fingers.
The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally
gets curious enough to ask what it is.
"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels
like rubber."
"Let me have it," said the lawyer.
Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and
forefinger, examining it closely.
"Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and
feels like rubber, but i don't know what it is.
Where did you get it?"
"From my nose," the drunk replied.
☼
* A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his
inmates to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to
respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed
to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled,
"Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up.
After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!"
And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!"
And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going well, he decides to go get a
beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress.
Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Well, everything was fine until
some guy walked by and yelled, PEANUTS!"
inmates to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to
respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed
to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled,
"Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up.
After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!"
And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!"
And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going well, he decides to go get a
beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress.
Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, "Well, everything was fine until
some guy walked by and yelled, PEANUTS!"
☼
* A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free
medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the
lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you
for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send
them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor
prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a
bill from the lawyer.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free
medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the
lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you
for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send
them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor
prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a
bill from the lawyer.
☼
* Question. What is the definition of an inconsiderate
husband?
Answer. One who wins a trip to Paris and goes by
himself, twice.
husband?
Answer. One who wins a trip to Paris and goes by
himself, twice.
☼
* Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing
somebody with a knife is too easy.
somebody with a knife is too easy.
☼
* Morris had been playing golf for years,
and he had the finest equipment,
but his technique never improved a bit.
As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and
promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods.
On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a
lake.
On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of
the woods.
“Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked.
“I’ve never had an old ball,” Morris said.
and he had the finest equipment,
but his technique never improved a bit.
As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and
promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods.
On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a
lake.
On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of
the woods.
“Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked.
“I’ve never had an old ball,” Morris said.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
"Try a thing you haven't done three times.
Once, to get over the fear of doing it.
Twice, to learn how to do it.
And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not."
- Virgil Garnett Thomson
Once, to get over the fear of doing it.
Twice, to learn how to do it.
And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not."
- Virgil Garnett Thomson
Rae's Trivia....
First TV commercial.
An ad for Bulova watches aired on WNBT's first full day
of programming on July 1, 1941.
It ran during a baseball game between the Brooklyn
Dodgers and the Philadelphia Phillies.
Cost of the ad time $4.
An ad for Bulova watches aired on WNBT's first full day
of programming on July 1, 1941.
It ran during a baseball game between the Brooklyn
Dodgers and the Philadelphia Phillies.
Cost of the ad time $4.
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