Hope everyone has a great Hump day....
Sunny. Highs around 90. West winds 10 to 15 mph.
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Got the Cooker going yet Petewete....??
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Got his mouth open....
Gonna catch that sucker.....
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Oh, No not me!! I'm to old a tough,,,,,
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Thats it you tell him.....
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But they grows up, and then what??
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Ain't no way you look like a Penguin....
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Tenny flop??
Are they water proof??
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Yeah, that will fix it......
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I have these in my tool box......
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I need a good lawnmower like this one....
Then I can really cut that grass.....
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♥♥♥
* News Flash!! A two seater airplane has
crashed leaving Mexico
So far they've recovered over 100 bodies!!
crashed leaving Mexico
So far they've recovered over 100 bodies!!
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* Faster than a speeding bullet...
more powerful than a locomotive...
able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...
yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
more powerful than a locomotive...
able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...
yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
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* A young bride looked all through the supermarket for
Scratch, because her husband told her that was what
his mother made everything from.
Scratch, because her husband told her that was what
his mother made everything from.
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* I have no respect for gangs today.
They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other first.
They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other first.
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* Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn't help overhearing
the surgeon yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
"Why does he keep doing that?" she asked a colleague.
"Oh, he likes to call the shots around here."
the surgeon yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
"Why does he keep doing that?" she asked a colleague.
"Oh, he likes to call the shots around here."
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* As a promotional gimmick for my restaurant,
I send out coupons offering people a free dinner on
their birthdays.
One day an anxious-sounding man called.
"I got your card...... How did you find me?"
"From a mailing list I purchased from a supplier,"
I told him..... "Why?"
"It used my real name, and I'm in the Witness
Protection Program.
What's the name of the company?"
I didn't want to say it, but I had to tell him the truth:
Moving Targets.
I send out coupons offering people a free dinner on
their birthdays.
One day an anxious-sounding man called.
"I got your card...... How did you find me?"
"From a mailing list I purchased from a supplier,"
I told him..... "Why?"
"It used my real name, and I'm in the Witness
Protection Program.
What's the name of the company?"
I didn't want to say it, but I had to tell him the truth:
Moving Targets.
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* Stanley R. Zegel was rear-ended while stopped for a
red light.
Police were told by the driver of the offending car that
he had been distracted looking at a paper for the
address of the nearby court-ordered
driving-improvement course he was on his way to attend.
* Stanley R. Zegel was rear-ended while stopped for a
red light.
Police were told by the driver of the offending car that
he had been distracted looking at a paper for the
address of the nearby court-ordered
driving-improvement course he was on his way to attend.
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* My blonde girlfriend just got a new job, she has to go
in at 11 pm.
She said she was gonna have to buy a new alarm clock.
I asked why???
She said hers only had an AM radio on it!!
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* I switched the neighbor's dog chew toy with the
voodoo doll I made of my ex...... Now I wait..
voodoo doll I made of my ex...... Now I wait..
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* "You do not need a parachute to skydive.........
You need a parachute to skydive twice."
* "You do not need a parachute to skydive.........
You need a parachute to skydive twice."
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* "I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is
the cruelest disease."
"Crueler than cancer?" his friend asked.
"You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every
single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."
the cruelest disease."
"Crueler than cancer?" his friend asked.
"You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every
single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."
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* One winter afternoon, a teacher was showing a small
boy how to zip up his coat.
"The secret," she said, "is to get the piece of the
zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."
The young boy looked at the teacher quizzically and
asked, "Why does it have to be a secret?"
boy how to zip up his coat.
"The secret," she said, "is to get the piece of the
zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."
The young boy looked at the teacher quizzically and
asked, "Why does it have to be a secret?"
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* Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a
truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery,"
announced Lady #1.
"Do what?" asked Lady #2.
"Send my lawn away to be mowed."
truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery,"
announced Lady #1.
"Do what?" asked Lady #2.
"Send my lawn away to be mowed."
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Todays Thought:
"Nothing gives a person so much advantage over
another as to remain always cool and unruffled under
all circumstances." - Thomas Jefferson
another as to remain always cool and unruffled under
all circumstances." - Thomas Jefferson
Rae's Trivia.......
In ancient times, the traditional color of bridal gowns
was red.
The wife of Napoleon III broke the tradition and wore a
white gown.
Then, brides began wearing white gowns (which were
worn only once) as a symbol of their wealth.
was red.
The wife of Napoleon III broke the tradition and wore a
white gown.
Then, brides began wearing white gowns (which were
worn only once) as a symbol of their wealth.
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