Patchy fog in the morning. Mostly sunny, rest of the day
Highs in the lower 80s, and Southwest winds around 5 mph..
Great sleeping weather...
Well, Hump Day is here....
☼
Here is a Sunrise from the other day....
Been awhile since a great Sunrise....
☼
These Hummers have went through 25lbs, Sugar
this Summer.....
☺
You think they would fry up like chicken??
You would have to have 45-50 to make a
mouth full....
☼
This reminds me... I'll have Oatmeal this norning
for breakfast... with toast....
☼
Yeah, Right.....
Mine hates to get wet.....
☼
I must not have been the only one....
☼
I'll take the "Batman" pair.....
Got a red pair.....just to wear to the Docs......
☼
Music to soothe the savage beast??
Well, he fixed that mirror...
☼
One way to take your buddy for a ride...
They must camp out alot....
☼
Now this is the life....
just sitting on the bank.... and fishing...
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~ To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she
should switch to lower-fat foods; including skim milk.
When she said her family would only drink whole milk,
I suggested that she keep their regular container and
refill it with skim milk.
This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked,
one morning, whether the milk was okay.
“Sure, it’s fine,” my friend answered, fearing she had
been found out.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because according to the bottle,” the daughter
explained, “this milk expired a year ago.”
should switch to lower-fat foods; including skim milk.
When she said her family would only drink whole milk,
I suggested that she keep their regular container and
refill it with skim milk.
This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked,
one morning, whether the milk was okay.
“Sure, it’s fine,” my friend answered, fearing she had
been found out.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because according to the bottle,” the daughter
explained, “this milk expired a year ago.”
☼
~ A new miracle doctor was in town.
He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was
amazed.
Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch So
Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he
wasn't anybody special.
So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost
my sense of taste.
I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar
number 43."
Jar number 43?
Mr. Smith wonders.
So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste
it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out,
"This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith,"
says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.
One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor
along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts,
"I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his
head and mumbles to himself a little and tells
Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence,
Mr. Smith fled the office.
He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was
amazed.
Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch So
Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he
wasn't anybody special.
So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost
my sense of taste.
I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar
number 43."
Jar number 43?
Mr. Smith wonders.
So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste
it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out,
"This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith,"
says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.
One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor
along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts,
"I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his
head and mumbles to himself a little and tells
Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence,
Mr. Smith fled the office.
☼
~ The latest toy has hit the shops... a talking Muslim doll.
Nobody knows what the hell it says,
because no one has the guts to pull the cord.
Nobody knows what the hell it says,
because no one has the guts to pull the cord.
☼
~ A lady is driving her car down a deserted road in the
middle of nowhere.
She comes to a stop sign, but doesn't see anyone,
so she slows down a little and goes right through it.
Immediately she hears a siren, and pulls over.
When the cop walks over to her window to give her a
ticket, she protests, "I know I broke the law,
but it doesn't really matter, does it, because there was
no one around.
Besides, I slowed down some."
The officer says, "Here, I'll show you why it matters.
Get out of the car."
She gets out of the car, and the cop pulls out his
knightstick and starts beating her.
"No one is around!" he tells her.
"Do you want me to slow down or stop?"
middle of nowhere.
She comes to a stop sign, but doesn't see anyone,
so she slows down a little and goes right through it.
Immediately she hears a siren, and pulls over.
When the cop walks over to her window to give her a
ticket, she protests, "I know I broke the law,
but it doesn't really matter, does it, because there was
no one around.
Besides, I slowed down some."
The officer says, "Here, I'll show you why it matters.
Get out of the car."
She gets out of the car, and the cop pulls out his
knightstick and starts beating her.
"No one is around!" he tells her.
"Do you want me to slow down or stop?"
☼
~ I bought a plunger the other day.
You ever bought a plunger?
Its an embarrassing purchase.
At first, you think its no big deal.
Stand in the line, swinging it.
And then you realize everybody knows;
you got a situation at home.
Nobody buys a plunger on a whim.
You ever bought a plunger?
Its an embarrassing purchase.
At first, you think its no big deal.
Stand in the line, swinging it.
And then you realize everybody knows;
you got a situation at home.
Nobody buys a plunger on a whim.
☼
~ He had had quite a night: wining and dining,
followed by love-making all night long.
As he prepared to leave the next morning,
she rolled over and asked,
"Darling, before you go, how about some money?"
He sheepishly replied, "You've done enough for me
already.
I'll just grab a cup of coffee on my way out!"
followed by love-making all night long.
As he prepared to leave the next morning,
she rolled over and asked,
"Darling, before you go, how about some money?"
He sheepishly replied, "You've done enough for me
already.
I'll just grab a cup of coffee on my way out!"
☼
~ Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog
food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
☼
~ Applicants for jobs at the company where my friend
Diana works are asked to fill out a questionnaire.
Among the things candidates list is their high school
and when they attended.
One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of
his high school, followed by the dates attended:
"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday."
Diana works are asked to fill out a questionnaire.
Among the things candidates list is their high school
and when they attended.
One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of
his high school, followed by the dates attended:
"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday."
☼
~ My friend Lynn said:
When my ex moved out while I was at work,
she took my new flat screen tv, but she couldn't find
the remote.
I will occasionally drive to her house around 2 am and
turn the TV on and the volume all the way up.
I'll give it 2 years and call us even."
she took my new flat screen tv, but she couldn't find
the remote.
I will occasionally drive to her house around 2 am and
turn the TV on and the volume all the way up.
I'll give it 2 years and call us even."
☼
~ At a theatre audition, a little girl had had
nine attempts to conceal her lisp, leaving just one left.
It was a tenth situation.
nine attempts to conceal her lisp, leaving just one left.
It was a tenth situation.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
All truths are easy to understand once they are
discovered; the point is to discover them. - Galileo Galilei
discovered; the point is to discover them. - Galileo Galilei
Rae's Trivia....
May 1942, U.S. ice cream manufacturers were
restricted by law to produce only 20 different flavors of
ice cream.
But to this date, no explanation for the law has ever
been offered.
restricted by law to produce only 20 different flavors of
ice cream.
But to this date, no explanation for the law has ever
been offered.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.