85º today with partly cloudy sky....
I'm reading 75.9º now....
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Are ya Hungry??
How about a pizza burger??
I would be a week, eating that.....
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Hmmm, cherry pie....
My Fav.
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Never heard of donut salad...
Petewete likes donuts maybe he's tried it...
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You look mean, mr. Paws
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Ahh no, you didn't....
cute picture....
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Scaredy cat.......
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Had to fix the mail box.....
And it took me awhile....I'm good at fixing things...
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I wonder.........
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Oppps, someone made a boobo....
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Cool paint job, don't ya think...
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Time for me to crank up the bike and get outta here...
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♥♥♥
* The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an
elderly woman.
"How'd you do it?" we asked.
"Easy," she said.
"Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock."
elderly woman.
"How'd you do it?" we asked.
"Easy," she said.
"Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock."
☼
* I saw a sign today that read;
Driving Tired kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.
Driving Tired kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.
☼
* The big electronic computer in the accounting
department performed admirably until summer weather
arrived...... Then it practically quit.
A diagnosis of the trouble revealed that the machine
was extremely sensitive to changes in temperature,
so the only thing to do was to move it into an
air-conditioned room.
Now, as we office drones perspire and droop,
we are treated to the vision of the computer operating
coolly and efficiently beyond the glass wall of its private
office.
What was that again about men being smarter than
machines?
department performed admirably until summer weather
arrived...... Then it practically quit.
A diagnosis of the trouble revealed that the machine
was extremely sensitive to changes in temperature,
so the only thing to do was to move it into an
air-conditioned room.
Now, as we office drones perspire and droop,
we are treated to the vision of the computer operating
coolly and efficiently beyond the glass wall of its private
office.
What was that again about men being smarter than
machines?
☼
* Heckling in the courtroom had constantly interrupted
the trial, and the judge had had enough.
"The next person who interrupts this proceeding will be
thrown out of my court!" he said severely, at which the
defendant yelled, "Hooray!"
the trial, and the judge had had enough.
"The next person who interrupts this proceeding will be
thrown out of my court!" he said severely, at which the
defendant yelled, "Hooray!"
☼
* When my wife and I were vacationing in the eastern
part of our state, our car's licence plate was stolen.
We planned to go to a local office for a replacement,
but then we discovered that our registration had expired.
The new one was at home in a pile of mail.
After much thought, we came up with a solution.
Taping a sign over the empty licence-plate space on the
rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home
safely.
Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing
motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.
Our sign read "Just Married!"
part of our state, our car's licence plate was stolen.
We planned to go to a local office for a replacement,
but then we discovered that our registration had expired.
The new one was at home in a pile of mail.
After much thought, we came up with a solution.
Taping a sign over the empty licence-plate space on the
rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home
safely.
Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing
motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.
Our sign read "Just Married!"
☼
* Slip Of The Tongue.....
A man is sitting on his front step staring morosely at the
ground when his neighbour strolls over.
The neighbour tries to start a conversation several times,
but the older man barely responds.
Finally, the neighbour asks what the problem is.
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those
questions women ask.
Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What was the question?" the neighbour asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was
old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbour.
"You just say, 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I meant to say.
But what came out was, 'Of course I do."
A man is sitting on his front step staring morosely at the
ground when his neighbour strolls over.
The neighbour tries to start a conversation several times,
but the older man barely responds.
Finally, the neighbour asks what the problem is.
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those
questions women ask.
Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What was the question?" the neighbour asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was
old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbour.
"You just say, 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I meant to say.
But what came out was, 'Of course I do."
☼
* A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven.
When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met St. Peter who
said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to
pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said, but St. Peter said not to worry he'd
make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said St. Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said
"Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?"
asked St. Peter.
Then she started to sing
"Andy walks with me!
Andy talks with me!
Andy tells me..
* A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven.
When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met St. Peter who
said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to
pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said, but St. Peter said not to worry he'd
make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said St. Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said
"Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?"
asked St. Peter.
Then she started to sing
"Andy walks with me!
Andy talks with me!
Andy tells me..
☼
* What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips! : )
Fission Chips! : )
☼
* A young stockbroker decided to take a day off and
visit some of his professors in his old school.
When he made his way into the entrance he noticed a
dog was attacking a small child.
He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his two
hands.
The next day the local newspaper reported the story with
the headline, "Valiant student saves boy from ferocious
dog".
The stockbroker called the editor and strongly
suggested that a correction be issued and that the
paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall
Street broker and not a student.
The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the
headline read, "Pompous stockbroker kills school
mascot".
visit some of his professors in his old school.
When he made his way into the entrance he noticed a
dog was attacking a small child.
He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his two
hands.
The next day the local newspaper reported the story with
the headline, "Valiant student saves boy from ferocious
dog".
The stockbroker called the editor and strongly
suggested that a correction be issued and that the
paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall
Street broker and not a student.
The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the
headline read, "Pompous stockbroker kills school
mascot".
☼
* What do you call a gun made of Jello?
A congealed weapon!
A congealed weapon!
☼
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Pete's thought of the day:
Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great
social changes are impossible without feminine
upheaval.
Social progress can be measured exactly by the social
position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included. - Karl Marx
social changes are impossible without feminine
upheaval.
Social progress can be measured exactly by the social
position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included. - Karl Marx
Rae's Trivia....
Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as
much as to any other color.
Mosquitoes have been responsible for more human
deaths throughout history than all wars combined.
much as to any other color.
Mosquitoes have been responsible for more human
deaths throughout history than all wars combined.
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