Heat Advisory today...Patchy fog in the morning.
Mostly sunny. Hot with highs 91 to 103.
West winds 5 to 10 mph.
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Too damn Hot to sit on the deck...
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Even the Hummers stay in the trees in the shade....
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You do look mad....☼
You are an Orange kitty.....
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I just don't know what to say about this picture.....
but that is a big cat.....
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Is that how it works......
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I feel a weekend coming......
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McDonalds??
Bar-B-Que time.....
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Poor ENO....just can't win.......
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Well, time to leave....Got a game to play.....
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♥♥♥
~ If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive,
I would choose...alive.
I would choose...alive.
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* A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a
synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming,
bellowing voice: “Two years ago I insured my voice with
Lloyds of London for $750,000.”
There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded
room.
Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal
voice of an elderly woman is heard, “So what did you do
with the money?”
synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming,
bellowing voice: “Two years ago I insured my voice with
Lloyds of London for $750,000.”
There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded
room.
Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal
voice of an elderly woman is heard, “So what did you do
with the money?”
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~ At the beach with my girlfriend.
I noticed she had a loose thread in her bikini bottoms.
So I just slyly went to snag it off.
It wasn't a loose thread...
I noticed she had a loose thread in her bikini bottoms.
So I just slyly went to snag it off.
It wasn't a loose thread...
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* Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a
interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him
and his education, but then asked him,
"What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!)
and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but
was still very curious.
The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job,
even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said,
"Well, you were the closest."
interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him
and his education, but then asked him,
"What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!)
and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but
was still very curious.
The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job,
even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said,
"Well, you were the closest."
☼
* As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after
surgery, he said, “Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?”
“There’s a big fire across the street,” the doctor replied.
“We didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”
surgery, he said, “Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?”
“There’s a big fire across the street,” the doctor replied.
“We didn’t want you to think the operation was a failure.”
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* Answering Machine Message 205.....
Hello. ... If you're calling with bad news,
leave your message now.
If it's good news, wait for the tone.
Hello. ... If you're calling with bad news,
leave your message now.
If it's good news, wait for the tone.
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* The only commercial airline in Iraq,
Iraqi Airlines, folded 9 months ago.
The CEO of the airline said the company could not
survive in a Market where everybody in the country was
on the no-fly list.
Iraqi Airlines, folded 9 months ago.
The CEO of the airline said the company could not
survive in a Market where everybody in the country was
on the no-fly list.
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* Sue said she wasn't dumb like the stereotypical
blond and to prove it she decided she would paint the
kitchen all by herself without any help.
So she bought the paint and supplies.
The next day when her husband came home from work
he discovered, to his amazement, that she had just
finished painting the kitchen.
Although it was a very hot summer day she was wearing
two coats (indoors) and sweating profusely.
When he asked her why in the world she would wear two
coats while painting on a very hot summer day,
she said it was because she followed the instructions
on the paint can, which stated:
best if applied with two coats.
blond and to prove it she decided she would paint the
kitchen all by herself without any help.
So she bought the paint and supplies.
The next day when her husband came home from work
he discovered, to his amazement, that she had just
finished painting the kitchen.
Although it was a very hot summer day she was wearing
two coats (indoors) and sweating profusely.
When he asked her why in the world she would wear two
coats while painting on a very hot summer day,
she said it was because she followed the instructions
on the paint can, which stated:
best if applied with two coats.
☼
* Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage
counter?, asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday
rush.
The clerk replied, "It's so you can kiss your luggage
good-bye...
* Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage
counter?, asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday
rush.
The clerk replied, "It's so you can kiss your luggage
good-bye...
☼
* Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the
Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know
both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-
kick you in the face.
Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know
both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-
kick you in the face.
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Pete's Thought for today.....
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it
won't work. - Will Rogers
won't work. - Will Rogers
Rae's Trivia.....
A snake is capable of eating an animal 4 times larger
than the width of its own head.
Most varieties of snake can go an entire year without
eating a single morsel of food.
than the width of its own head.
Most varieties of snake can go an entire year without
eating a single morsel of food.
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