Hot, sunny day....Foggy right now...
Humidity: 93%......
☼
Cook them ribs....Petewete......
Got that cooker fired up yet??
☼
Pancakes this morning....
☼
To hot to be on the beach, doing this.....
Sun would burn you up.....
☼
Taste the rainbow.......
☼
Yeah, I thought it was cool......
☼
Okay, We'll deal with it......
Now give me my sunglasses.....
☼
Oh, My....Get some HELP!!
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Horse play will get you hurt or killed....
But don't tell them.......
☼
Wake up after surgery, this would scare the
heck out of you......
☼
Still got three fingers???
keep on and you'll lose the rest.....
☼
Time to say....see you tomorrow....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~ The Top Signs You're In A Bad Nursing Home
1. Its named Heaven's Waiting Room.
2. Cheap TV antenna can't pick up Xena: Warrior Princess.
3. Defibrilator doubles as a remote control.
4. Its named Matlock Manor.
5. No furniture in it outside of beds and lots of caskets.
6. Radio stations alternate between Glenn Miller and broadcasting
Last Rites in every language known to man.
7. You can't ring a nurse but you can page the
attorney's office down the hall.
8. Rectal thermometers made of wood.
9. Two words: Community Bedpan.
1. Its named Heaven's Waiting Room.
2. Cheap TV antenna can't pick up Xena: Warrior Princess.
3. Defibrilator doubles as a remote control.
4. Its named Matlock Manor.
5. No furniture in it outside of beds and lots of caskets.
6. Radio stations alternate between Glenn Miller and broadcasting
Last Rites in every language known to man.
7. You can't ring a nurse but you can page the
attorney's office down the hall.
8. Rectal thermometers made of wood.
9. Two words: Community Bedpan.
☼
~ I think that Vanna White got the best job ever.
Is that not the best job?
If I were a woman, I would want that job so bad.
Like, thats her job!
What a country -- she just turns letters.
I turn letters, but only when they glow.
Im not stupid.
Is that not the best job?
If I were a woman, I would want that job so bad.
Like, thats her job!
What a country -- she just turns letters.
I turn letters, but only when they glow.
Im not stupid.
☼
~ What's dumb?
Directions on toilet paper.
What's dumber than that?
Reading them.
Even dumber?
Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all?
Reading them and having to correct
something you've been doing wrong.
Directions on toilet paper.
What's dumber than that?
Reading them.
Even dumber?
Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all?
Reading them and having to correct
something you've been doing wrong.
☼
~ At the elementary school where I am the principal,
eighth grade students help out in the office during lunch
hour.
Since I was going to accompany a class walking over to
the local swimming pool, I told the helpers that "if the
superintendent phones, tell him I'll be at the pool all
afternoon."
When I returned to my office, I found the note the
students had written and which they had repeated to
the superintendent: "The principal will be at the
Pool Hall all afternoon."
eighth grade students help out in the office during lunch
hour.
Since I was going to accompany a class walking over to
the local swimming pool, I told the helpers that "if the
superintendent phones, tell him I'll be at the pool all
afternoon."
When I returned to my office, I found the note the
students had written and which they had repeated to
the superintendent: "The principal will be at the
Pool Hall all afternoon."
☼
~ Q. What did one pickle say to the other?
A. "You mean a great dill to me."
A. "You mean a great dill to me."
☼
~ The young man really liked the perfume the young
lady was wearing and asked its name.
She looked puzzled for a minute then dumped the
contents of her purse on the table between them.
She searched through the pile and finally found a small
atomizer.
She looked at the label and announced, “Unforgettable”
lady was wearing and asked its name.
She looked puzzled for a minute then dumped the
contents of her purse on the table between them.
She searched through the pile and finally found a small
atomizer.
She looked at the label and announced, “Unforgettable”
☼
~ Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-
old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth
intact.
They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains
of the very first hockey player.
old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth
intact.
They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains
of the very first hockey player.
☼
~ Golfer: "What's your handicap?"
Second golfer: "Honesty."
Second golfer: "Honesty."
☼
~ You might be a redneck if...
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an
hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front
door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an
hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front
door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
☼
~ Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Luck.
Luck who?
Luck through the keyhole and you'll find out!
Who's there?
Luck.
Luck who?
Luck through the keyhole and you'll find out!
☼
☼
Pete's Thought of the day.......
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country,
we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of
thought, and the wisdom never to use either. - Mark Twain
we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of
thought, and the wisdom never to use either. - Mark Twain
Rae's Trivia.....
Pigs, dogs, and some other animals can taste water,
but people cannot.
Humans don’t actually taste water or even Perrier;
they taste the chemicals and impurities in the water.
but people cannot.
Humans don’t actually taste water or even Perrier;
they taste the chemicals and impurities in the water.
Did you know....
The first lighthouse to use electricity was the Statue of
Liberty in 1886.
Liberty in 1886.
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