Partly sunny with afternoon storms possible.
Highs in the mid 90s. Another Hot day....
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Oh, come on now...I ain't that bad of a cook....
I don't burn meat like "Petewete"......
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Yep, that's were it goes......
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You look like you enjoyed a few catnip shots too...
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This guy is read to fight....
That must have been 100 proof catnip....
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I wish it were that easy......
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Just hanging out??
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This is so true.....
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~~~~~
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Oh,Oh...grandpappy looks Mad....
Don't get on his bad side........
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Well, time to go......
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♥♥♥
* A man graduated from veterinary school then took a
course in taxidermy.
He now has a sign in his Doctor's office that reads,
"Veterinarian/Taxidermist - Either way - you get your pet
back".
course in taxidermy.
He now has a sign in his Doctor's office that reads,
"Veterinarian/Taxidermist - Either way - you get your pet
back".
☼
* During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were
covered with snow.
The following spring, the state decided to raise all the
signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars.
“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer,
“but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of
the federal government.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because knowing the federal government, they’d
decide to lower the highways.”
covered with snow.
The following spring, the state decided to raise all the
signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars.
“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer,
“but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of
the federal government.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because knowing the federal government, they’d
decide to lower the highways.”
☼
* A fisherman accidentally left his day's catch under
the seat of a bus.
The next evening's newspaper carried an ad:
"If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No.47 bus
would care to come to the garage, you can have the bus."
the seat of a bus.
The next evening's newspaper carried an ad:
"If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No.47 bus
would care to come to the garage, you can have the bus."
☼
* My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a
memo saying that any paper left on desks would be
removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to
get it back.
So we left all our garbage paper on our desks every night.
The next day, the boss had an office full of garbage,
and we never heard about the policy again.
memo saying that any paper left on desks would be
removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to
get it back.
So we left all our garbage paper on our desks every night.
The next day, the boss had an office full of garbage,
and we never heard about the policy again.
☼
* Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies.
Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking
someone in the face...... Then two people die.
Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking
someone in the face...... Then two people die.
☼
* A Sunday School teacher was telling the story of the
Good Samaritan to her class of 4 & 5 year-olds.
She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the
children interested in her tale.
At one point, she asked the class, “If you saw a person
lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding,
what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,
“I think I’d throw up.”
Good Samaritan to her class of 4 & 5 year-olds.
She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the
children interested in her tale.
At one point, she asked the class, “If you saw a person
lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding,
what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,
“I think I’d throw up.”
☼
* Cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners
will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
☼
* An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad.
Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she
would really like to do so before she died.
Until now, she'd never even been out of the country.
So she began by going in person to the Passport Office
and asking how long it would take to have one issued.
"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the
passport clerk.
"Raise your right hand, please.
"The old gal raised her right hand.
"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United
States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?"
was the first question.
The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled
as she asked in a small voice, "Uhhh . . . all by myself?"
Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she
would really like to do so before she died.
Until now, she'd never even been out of the country.
So she began by going in person to the Passport Office
and asking how long it would take to have one issued.
"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the
passport clerk.
"Raise your right hand, please.
"The old gal raised her right hand.
"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United
States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?"
was the first question.
The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled
as she asked in a small voice, "Uhhh . . . all by myself?"
☼
* A woman went to see her psychiatrist.
"I'm really concerned," she said.
"The other day I found my daughter and the little boy
next door together, naked, examining each other's
bodies and giggling."
The psychiatrist smiled.
"That's nothing to worry about, it's pretty normal."
"Well, I don't know," said the woman, "It worries me.
It worries my daughter's husband too."
"I'm really concerned," she said.
"The other day I found my daughter and the little boy
next door together, naked, examining each other's
bodies and giggling."
The psychiatrist smiled.
"That's nothing to worry about, it's pretty normal."
"Well, I don't know," said the woman, "It worries me.
It worries my daughter's husband too."
☼
* The person I want checking IDs at the airport are
bouncers cause theyre the only ones who can spot a fake.
So, if a terrorist rolled up, hed be like, Uh, here you go.
Bouncer be like, Says you're born in June.
Whats your sign, bro?
Uh, uh, I dont know, like, a Libra?
Its a Gemini!.... Get the hell out of here, dude!
And too many dudes -- you brought too many dudes
with you.
bouncers cause theyre the only ones who can spot a fake.
So, if a terrorist rolled up, hed be like, Uh, here you go.
Bouncer be like, Says you're born in June.
Whats your sign, bro?
Uh, uh, I dont know, like, a Libra?
Its a Gemini!.... Get the hell out of here, dude!
And too many dudes -- you brought too many dudes
with you.
☼
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Pete's Thought for today....
“It was self-serving politicians who convinced recent
generations of Americans that we could all stand in a
circle with our hands in each other’s pockets and
somehow get rich.”
–American radio broadcaster Paul Harvey (1918-2009)
generations of Americans that we could all stand in a
circle with our hands in each other’s pockets and
somehow get rich.”
–American radio broadcaster Paul Harvey (1918-2009)
Rae's Trivia.....
Desi Arnaz’s, from I Love Lucy, father was mayor of
Santiago, Cuba, and his mother was the daughter of
one of the founders of Bacardi Rum.
His family went into exile in the United States after the
coup that brought dictator Fulgencio Batista to power in
1934.
The family made its new home in Miami, Florida.
And Desi’s best friend in high school?... Al Capone, Jr.
Santiago, Cuba, and his mother was the daughter of
one of the founders of Bacardi Rum.
His family went into exile in the United States after the
coup that brought dictator Fulgencio Batista to power in
1934.
The family made its new home in Miami, Florida.
And Desi’s best friend in high school?... Al Capone, Jr.
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