Down Hummingbird Lane

Well, Blogger won't let me add pictures this morning....
They must be broke down, again.....
So, I guess it's just jokes today....if i can....

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~ It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant
meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant
meteor.

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~  An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into
a camp.
"Am I glad to see you!" he said.
"I've been lost for three days."
 "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied.
"I've been lost for three weeks."

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~ My daughter and her husband, naval reservists,
have an eight-year-old son. 
When one of his parochial school classmates told my
daughter that Angus had said a bad word, she said,
"He can't help it..... Both his parents are sailors.

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~~  Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the
census taker came by.
She told the census taker that her mother was a surgeon
and wasn't home because she was performing an
appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "That sure is a big word
for such a little girl...... Do you know what it means?"
"I sure do!....
Fifteen-hundred bucks, and that doesn't include the
anesthesiologist!"

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 ~  At the dinner table one night, my younger brother
asked the question every parent dreads.
 "Mommy, where did I come from?"
"God brought you to us," my mother replied. 
Unsatisfied with her answer, he asked "But how did he
know to put me with you?"
 I told my parents I could handle this and said,
"God had a bunch of moms up in heaven, and they all
drew straws to see who would get you." 
"So mommy won?" he asked with big bright eyes.
 "No I said" hardly able to contain my laughter,
"She lost!"
 I was grounded for a month, and my brother definitely
had the last laugh.

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~ A child was on his first visit to the country at his
grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens
fascinated him.
arly one morning he caught his first glimpse of a
peacock strutting in the yard.
He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was
making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come
and see!
One of the chickens is in bloom!"

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~  I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.

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~ Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator
suddenly stops and the lights go out.
They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no
luck.
Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight,
one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to
call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply
and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

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~  Because my husband was in the military,
we moved often, and our children learned to make
friends quickly.
  One snowy day our six-year-old son wanted to go out to
play at a new-found friend's house. 
He got into a snowsuit and bundled himself up until only
his eyes were visible.....
 Before long, he was back home with a disgusted look
on his face.
 "What's wrong?" I asked.
 With all the loathing a six-year-old can muster, he said,
"it was a girl."

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~ A truly rich man is one whose children run into his
arms when his hands are empty.

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 ~  My wife wanted one of those fish spa pedicures.
I arranged one for her.
I dunno if she's gonna like it but cost me a fortune.
Piranhas aren't cheap!

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~  Your breath is so bad... when you talk your teeth duck.

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~  I was browsing through a brochure for
continuing-education courses at a local college when
I came upon a course that interested me: 
"Goodbye to Shy."
 I considered taking the class to overcome my anxiety
about talking to people, but I soon realized it wouldn't
help:  The class was offered online only.

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~ A man tells his friend, Las Vegas is loaded with all
kinds of gambling devices.
“Dice tables, slot machines, and wedding chapels.”

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 Todays Thought:
The person who has lived the most is not the one with
the most years but the one with the richest experiences.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau


Rae's Trivia.....
The Goliath beetle of Africa has a huge armor that
makes it the heaviest flying insect in the world.
In fact, it weighs more than eight mice and is a common
pet with African children, who fly it from a string.

Also did you know;
tiger sharks fight each other while in their mother’s
womb, the survivor being the baby shark that is born.
Talk about sibling rivalry!