Hot...Hot, today. Calling for 97º today.
And 98 tomorrow...
☼
My bad Dream, last night??
☼
Don't give that donut to "Pete"
He's trying to lose some weight too...
☼
Okay, Okay, I don't want it....
☼
I know the "Gold stuff works, but I
Don't know about the "Monkey butt" stuff....
☼
Go ahead....I doesn't have any $$......
☼
No...NO!
No, not Alabama, Florida maybe.....
☼
You think the "Weiner" man wants to buy this car
that's for sale??
☼
I always have a lunch on hand....you??
☼
I wondered why, mine don't fit good after
buying .......
☼
Well, if I can get this thing down, I'll have a ride....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Yesterday I heard an original joke.
It didn't degrade women, offend any religions or
nationalities, poke at people with disabilities, or
involve sexual revolting images.
And it wasn't a pun.
But I don't remember it because it wasn't funny.
It didn't degrade women, offend any religions or
nationalities, poke at people with disabilities, or
involve sexual revolting images.
And it wasn't a pun.
But I don't remember it because it wasn't funny.
☼
~~ Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech,
vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
☼
~~ A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room
with three doors.
Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind
one of these doors.
But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind
each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of
people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor.
Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people
standing on their heads on a wooden floor.
Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people,
standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee.
"Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded
in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.
A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his
head in and said, "Ok, coffee break`s over,
back on your heads!"
with three doors.
Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind
one of these doors.
But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind
each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of
people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor.
Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people
standing on their heads on a wooden floor.
Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people,
standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee.
"Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded
in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.
A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his
head in and said, "Ok, coffee break`s over,
back on your heads!"
☼
~~ Scientists found a way to clone Shakespeare from a
sample of his DNA. Naturally, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN
were all vying to get him on their networks.
When they approached the Bard, his reply was:
"TV, or not TV?"
~~ Scientists found a way to clone Shakespeare from a
sample of his DNA. Naturally, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN
were all vying to get him on their networks.
When they approached the Bard, his reply was:
"TV, or not TV?"
☼
~~ If you have trouble getting your children's attention,
just sit down and look comfortable.
just sit down and look comfortable.
☼
~~ Road signs are a real indication of what an area is
like.
Here in Virginia we have signs saying "Deer Crossing".
At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing".
In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing".
And in CONGRESS in Washington DC, you have signs
saying "Double Crossing".
like.
Here in Virginia we have signs saying "Deer Crossing".
At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing".
In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing".
And in CONGRESS in Washington DC, you have signs
saying "Double Crossing".
☼
~~ Seen On Church Sign: Dusty Bibles may lead to
Dirty Lives
Dirty Lives
☼
~~ Sue said:
Extremely tired of nagging my children to do their
everyday chores, I typed up a list of rules and went over
all 31 with them.
A little while later, my husband walked over and read
the posted list, looked at me and said,
"God made only ten Commandments."
Extremely tired of nagging my children to do their
everyday chores, I typed up a list of rules and went over
all 31 with them.
A little while later, my husband walked over and read
the posted list, looked at me and said,
"God made only ten Commandments."
☼
~~ Though vigorous tail-wagging could indicate canine
acceptance, it's always the better part of valor to look on
the bite side.
acceptance, it's always the better part of valor to look on
the bite side.
☼
~~ Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle.
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the
happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow,"
protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle.
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the
happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow,"
protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle.
☼
~~ If your toddler has more teeth than you,
you might just be a redneck.
you might just be a redneck.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind,
not with it. - Henry Ford
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind,
not with it. - Henry Ford
Rae's Trivia.....
Roger Bannister was the first man to break the 4-minute
mile; however, he did not break the 4-minute mile in an
actual race.
On May 6, 1954, he ran 3:59.4, while being carefully
paced by other runners.
Bannister’s quarter-mile splits were 57.5 seconds,
60.7, 62.3, and 58.9.
But 23 days after Bannister had run the most famous
mile of all time, fellow Briton Diane Leather became the
first woman to break 5 minutes with a time of 4:59.6 in
Birmingham, England, on May 29, 1954.
In the 40-plus years since the two British runners broke
these significant marks, women’s times have improved
by a far higher percentage than men’s.
mile; however, he did not break the 4-minute mile in an
actual race.
On May 6, 1954, he ran 3:59.4, while being carefully
paced by other runners.
Bannister’s quarter-mile splits were 57.5 seconds,
60.7, 62.3, and 58.9.
But 23 days after Bannister had run the most famous
mile of all time, fellow Briton Diane Leather became the
first woman to break 5 minutes with a time of 4:59.6 in
Birmingham, England, on May 29, 1954.
In the 40-plus years since the two British runners broke
these significant marks, women’s times have improved
by a far higher percentage than men’s.
1 comment:
Hi Gus Just popped in to say Thank You for giving us all a laugh and making our day a brighter one!.....Luv Carol
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