Sunday, June 19, 2011

Good Morning All....
70% thunder storms today...
in fact all week...looks like we're gonna get wet....



Thanks for your severice, DAD!
semper Fi...

Waffles, this morning...Pete?

I can't hear you!!!....

Super man, is that you??

For some..for some...

Is this true, Carol??

Some thing's not right......
can't figure it out...

Now thats funny...
I wouldn't walk around like that.....

Peaches are ready..... peach brandy?

Well, it's been nice, but I gotta go....
see you tomorrow......

♥♥♥

~ The Government has announced they intend to make
it more difficult to claim Welfare.
Starting next Monday the forms will be printed in
English only..


~ If I ever forgot that I live in the South, the last line of
an obituary in our local paper, the (Mobile, Alabama)
Press-Register, would have set me straight:
"In lieu of flowers, please send fried chicken."


~ The pupils of first grade were sitting in a circle with
their teacher.
She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Tim, what sound does a cow make?"
Tim replied, "It goes 'moo'."
"Fenly, what sound does a cat make?"
 Fenly said, "It goes 'meow'."
"Thalysia, what sound does a lamb make?"
Thalysia said, "It goes 'baaa'."
"Nikolaj, what sound does a mouse make?"
 Nikolaj paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... 'click'…

☼ 

~ Snowboarding is an activity that is popular with
people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal
enough.


~ A young couple got married and went away on their
honeymoon.
After two weeks they came back and finally put away all
of the presents they received from friends and family.
Since this was a new home, the process took some time.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a
popular show where tickets were impossible to get.
They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the
person who sent this.
Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of
paper with a single line, "From...guess who?"
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor,
but failed in the effort.
They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time.
On their return home late at night, still trying to guess
the identity of the unknown host, they found the house
stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of
paper on which was written in the same hand as the
enclosure with the tickets:
"Now you know!"


~~  Gus and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day
 when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair
 shop.
The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over
eleven years old.
They both laughed and tried to remember which of them
 might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a
 decade ago.
"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?"
 Gus asked.
"Not very likely," his wife said.
"It's worth a try," Gus said, pocketing the ticket.
He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to
 the store.
With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man
 behind the counter.
With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."
He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the
 shop.
Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"
"No kidding?" Gus called back.
"That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be
 here after all this time."
The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.
"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.


~ My young children were intrigued by an exhibit about
ancient Egypt at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto.
 After telling my daughter, Jadelyn, about the different
kinds of mummies, she looked up at my mom and asked
 her.... "Where are the different kinds of grandmas?"


~ A man walks in to the doctors office with a broken
nose, black eye, and a dislocated jaw.
Doctor asks "Jesus , what  happened to you?!"
"I sneezed", replied the man.
"A sneeze?!
How can you get a disfigured face by a simple sneeze?"
 asks the doctor.
The man replies "Turns out a simple sneeze while hiding
naked in the neighbors wife's closet when her husband
comes home early from boxing practice can do that to you"


~ A police officer came up to me yesterday and said,
"Where were you between four and six?"
 I said, "Kindergarten."


~ My current wife and my ex-wife barely talk.
 But they were thrown together when my mother-in-law
had all the grandkids at her home for a cookout.
Luckily, I wasn't there, which irked my ex.
 "Where's  Paul?" she asked.
 He's home, mowing the lawn," said my wife.
 My ex smiled. "Wish I'd married someone like that."


~ Our neighbor, the president of the local bank, was
ironing a clean shirt to wear to work one morning.
"I'll bet," he said to his wife, "That I'm the only
businessman in town ironing his own shirt this morning."
 "You're probably right," she agreed.
"That's because you didn't do it last night."


Todays Thought:
 “ Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things. ”
— Cicero


Rae's Trivia.......
In 1939, Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel titled
Gadsby.
Its 267 pages and 50,000 words do not contain a
single letter "e".




 

1 comment:

  1. Happy Fathers Day Gus! I hope you have a wonderful day...Hugzs Carol

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.