I'm reading 75º this morning already.
The temp here was reading 100º for
the last two days.... T-storms this evening..
Will help cool it down...
☼
Lady, I can't help you...
You need to get out of McDonalds...
☺
Luke, here will help you.....
He'a a Medic dog....
☺
Maybe, Squeaky can help.....
☺
Oh, your watching Squeaky....
What have you got on your mind....?
☺
I'm sorry...I was only trying to be helpful.....
☺
Are you trying to tell me something??
☺
Just about right....
☺
Yep, until you fall....
☼
I don't know about you...but,
I don't like snakes..... they give me the willies..
☺
Glad you do...Dave.
☺
Time for me to head out....
be careful, you hear.....
☺
☺
♥♥♥
~~ A wife complains, "A wall clock almost killed my
mother today.
It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
Her husband mumbled, "Clock always was slow."
mother today.
It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
Her husband mumbled, "Clock always was slow."
☺
~~ One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby,
the mother had to go out to run some errands.
The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful
new son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.
The father did everything he could think of doing,
but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take
the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he
had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began
to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the
diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was
indeed full.
"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be
changed!"
The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package
says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"
the mother had to go out to run some errands.
The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful
new son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.
The father did everything he could think of doing,
but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take
the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he
had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began
to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the
diaper area.
When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was
indeed full.
"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be
changed!"
The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package
says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"
☺
~~ When his drink arrived, Pete asked the waitress for
a straw.
"Sorry, I'm out," she said, sounding irritated.
"The customers won't stop asking for them."
"Well," joked Pete, "They must all be germaphobes."
"No," she said, "they're mostly locals."
a straw.
"Sorry, I'm out," she said, sounding irritated.
"The customers won't stop asking for them."
"Well," joked Pete, "They must all be germaphobes."
"No," she said, "they're mostly locals."
☺
~~ "Boys just like one thing," my ten-year-old told a
friend.
Oh, no, the end of her innocence, I thought.
Then she announced her finding: "PlayStations."
friend.
Oh, no, the end of her innocence, I thought.
Then she announced her finding: "PlayStations."
☺
~~ The topic of our seventh-grade science class was
Dolly, the sheep cloned in Scotland several years back.
We discussed how scientists removed the nucleus from
the sheep egg cell and replaced it with the nucleus from
the parent cell.
The students were fascinated, one in particular.
"This is amazing," he said.
"I had no idea sheep laid eggs."
Dolly, the sheep cloned in Scotland several years back.
We discussed how scientists removed the nucleus from
the sheep egg cell and replaced it with the nucleus from
the parent cell.
The students were fascinated, one in particular.
"This is amazing," he said.
"I had no idea sheep laid eggs."
☺
~~ Of course I can keep secrets.
It's the people I tell them to who can't keep them.
It's the people I tell them to who can't keep them.
☺
~~ While riding down along the border this morning,
I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River;
he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns
and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling
to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs
that was strapped to his back.
If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to
help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County
Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority
has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps...
I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River;
he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns
and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling
to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs
that was strapped to his back.
If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to
help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County
Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority
has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps...
☺
~~ The best index to a person's character is how he
treats people who can't do him any good, and how he
treats people who can't fight back.
treats people who can't do him any good, and how he
treats people who can't fight back.
☺
~~ While I was visiting my daughter, my grandson
asked her if he could have the car for the evening.
"Yes," she said, "but I want it home before midnight."
"But, Mom, I'm 18," he protested.
"I know," she replied. "But my car isn't."
asked her if he could have the car for the evening.
"Yes," she said, "but I want it home before midnight."
"But, Mom, I'm 18," he protested.
"I know," she replied. "But my car isn't."
☺
~~ Skateboards have little wheels bolted underneath
with little nuts above.
with little nuts above.
☺
~~ An IT services company had a policy of hiring only
married men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front
Leader called on the CEO and asked him, "Why is it you
limit your employees to married men?
It must be because you consider us women are weak,
dumb, or do you consider us as tantrum throwers,
bossy, etc?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied.
"It is because our policy is to hire staff
-->Who are used to obeying orders without questioning,
--> Who are accustomed to being bossed over,
--> Know how to keep quiet
--> Put up with anything when I yell at them
And we can find these qualities only in married men."
married men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front
Leader called on the CEO and asked him, "Why is it you
limit your employees to married men?
It must be because you consider us women are weak,
dumb, or do you consider us as tantrum throwers,
bossy, etc?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied.
"It is because our policy is to hire staff
-->Who are used to obeying orders without questioning,
--> Who are accustomed to being bossed over,
--> Know how to keep quiet
--> Put up with anything when I yell at them
And we can find these qualities only in married men."
☺
☺
Todays Thought;
A common mistake that people make when trying to
design something completely foolproof is to
underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.....
design something completely foolproof is to
underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.....
Rae's Trivia....
The first television sitcom couple ever to share the same
bed on a regular basis was gruesome twosome
Lily and Herman Munster.
or
bed on a regular basis was gruesome twosome
Lily and Herman Munster.
or
Barrow, Alaska, the northernmost settlement in the state,
stays dark for 84 days from mid-November to late January.
stays dark for 84 days from mid-November to late January.
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