a great weekend?
How about your cook out Pete... Smoker work Okay?
☼
Somebody was Bar-B-Quing some meat...
Looks good....
☼
I don't know... can anything appease you??
☼
Thats a whole lotta food for a kitty...
☼
Yeah, Make him stop...
Need a ive cream sunday.......
☼
Oh, No......What a bummer.....
☼
Now this looks like a bunch of lazy cats.....
☼
Yes that is bad, now go wash off....
☼
Weird looking.......
☼
Yeah, I thought so too........
☼
Don't you eat all them shrimps.....
Need some for the cook out.....
☼
Well, I gotta go and catch that cat when he lands.....
See you , in the morning.....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~ If you think about it, Jesus had more trouble than any
of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day.
I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?
of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day.
I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?
☼
~ While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my
mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and
her eight-year-old son.
Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their
destination and she heard the mother say to the boy,
"Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog.
~ While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my
mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and
her eight-year-old son.
Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their
destination and she heard the mother say to the boy,
"Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog.
☼
~ Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground
with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost.
While his father was patching him up, he asked his son
what happened.
"Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel.
And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost.
While his father was patching him up, he asked his son
what happened.
"Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel.
And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
☼
~ When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher
conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered,
especially when she started telling me that my little girl
didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes
a little flighty.
“For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,”
the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting
at the wrong desk.”
“I don’t understand,” I replied defensively.
“Where could she have gotten that?”
The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter
was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable.
Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way,
Mrs. Hallinan, our appointment is tomorrow.”
conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered,
especially when she started telling me that my little girl
didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes
a little flighty.
“For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,”
the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting
at the wrong desk.”
“I don’t understand,” I replied defensively.
“Where could she have gotten that?”
The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter
was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable.
Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way,
Mrs. Hallinan, our appointment is tomorrow.”
☼
~ An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for
her boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front porch and shout,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry
at her proclamations that he would shout,
"There ain't no Lord!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for
God to send her some assistance.
She stood on her porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!
God, I need food.
I am having a hard time.
Please, Lord, send me some groceries."
The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and
noted a large bag of groceries and shouted,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said,
"HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord!
I bought those groceries, myself!... God didn't!"
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her
hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent
me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them!
PRAISE THE LORD!"
her boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front porch and shout,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry
at her proclamations that he would shout,
"There ain't no Lord!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for
God to send her some assistance.
She stood on her porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!
God, I need food.
I am having a hard time.
Please, Lord, send me some groceries."
The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and
noted a large bag of groceries and shouted,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said,
"HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord!
I bought those groceries, myself!... God didn't!"
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her
hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent
me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them!
PRAISE THE LORD!"
☼
~ He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse
kick.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse
kick.
☼
~ Gus, who is trying to lose weight, has a
tendency to grab sweets when he's bored.
We devised a plan that whenever he's tempted to cheat
on his diet, he should think of me and how proud I am,
of him.
However, one night I overheard him tell friends,
"Whenever I get hungry, I think about my wife and
immediately lose my appetite."
tendency to grab sweets when he's bored.
We devised a plan that whenever he's tempted to cheat
on his diet, he should think of me and how proud I am,
of him.
However, one night I overheard him tell friends,
"Whenever I get hungry, I think about my wife and
immediately lose my appetite."
☼
~ I drove by a yard sale today.
They had a child standing out front holding a sign that
read "Yard Sale".
It sucks that they couldn't even afford a stick!
They had a child standing out front holding a sign that
read "Yard Sale".
It sucks that they couldn't even afford a stick!
☼
~ To impress his new girlfriend, Gus took her to a very
chic Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up a menu and
ordered.
“We’ll have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci”, he said.
”Sorry, sir”, said the waiter. “THAT’s the owner!”
chic Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up a menu and
ordered.
“We’ll have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci”, he said.
”Sorry, sir”, said the waiter. “THAT’s the owner!”
☼
~ After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in
the science section without luck, a customer looked to
me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on
it: Thesaurus.
the science section without luck, a customer looked to
me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on
it: Thesaurus.
☼
~ A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last
barstool next to an older woman.
After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible
odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister,
but did you just shit yourself?"
The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit
myself."
The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere
and clean yourself up?"
The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..."
~ A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last
barstool next to an older woman.
After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible
odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister,
but did you just shit yourself?"
The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit
myself."
The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere
and clean yourself up?"
The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..."
☼
~ Substitute at the Pearly Gates ....
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,"
her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of
you while you were ill.
And then I won the lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big
mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world.
We were on vacation and I went water skiing today.
I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am.
How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,"
her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of
you while you were ill.
And then I won the lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big
mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world.
We were on vacation and I went water skiing today.
I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am.
How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
☼
~ While auditing one of our departments, an assistant
asked me what I was doing.
"Listing your assets," I told her.
"Oh," she said. "Well I have a good sense of humor
and I make great lasagna."
asked me what I was doing.
"Listing your assets," I told her.
"Oh," she said. "Well I have a good sense of humor
and I make great lasagna."
☼
~ I accompanied a friend to a lawn-equipment store to
look at used riding mowers.
After examining the array, Bill wanted to "think about it."
Not wanting to lose a sale, the sales manager quickly
mentioned their "60-day, no interest payment program."
"Sounds great," Bill said, "but I have to talk this over
with my wife or there'll be '60 days, no interest at home..
look at used riding mowers.
After examining the array, Bill wanted to "think about it."
Not wanting to lose a sale, the sales manager quickly
mentioned their "60-day, no interest payment program."
"Sounds great," Bill said, "but I have to talk this over
with my wife or there'll be '60 days, no interest at home..
☼
~ When I was a kid my parents moved a lot,
but I always found them.
but I always found them.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries
or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.- William Faulkner
or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.- William Faulkner
Rae's Trivia.....
In 1889, Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented at
St. Joseph, Missouri, was the first self-rising flour for
pancakes and the first ready-mix food ever to be
introduced commercially.
St. Joseph, Missouri, was the first self-rising flour for
pancakes and the first ready-mix food ever to be
introduced commercially.
▲~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~▲
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