today, weather is unsettled and high humidity..
Thunderstorms....
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Yep, a zip lock omelet this morning.....
and it sure is good....
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Good swimming weather....
just don't forget the sun screen......
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Or would you rather have a massage??
loose-in you up....
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How about this Cake...
Looks like the wheel on TV...
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Looks are deceiving......
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Damn dog, been in the beer again....
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Oh no...don't do that....
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~~~~~
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Whoops, someone goofed....
I have no idea???
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Need to keep Tommy out of there.......
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♥♥♥
~~ A lawyer having offices in a large office building
recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly
prized.
Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link
somewhere in the building he posted this notice:
"Lost. A gold cuff-link. T
he owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its
immediate return."
That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice
was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to
observe that appended thereto were these lines:
"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a
great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."
recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly
prized.
Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link
somewhere in the building he posted this notice:
"Lost. A gold cuff-link. T
he owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its
immediate return."
That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice
was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to
observe that appended thereto were these lines:
"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a
great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."
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~~ They opened a new cajion/norwegian restaurant
in R-ville.....
the only thing on the menu is blackened toast!
in R-ville.....
the only thing on the menu is blackened toast!
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~~ A woman wrote to Dear Abby asking,
"Are birth control pills deductible on my income tax?"
Abby had a simple response: "Only if they don't work."
"Are birth control pills deductible on my income tax?"
Abby had a simple response: "Only if they don't work."
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~~ changed all my passwords to "incorrect",
so my computer just tells me when I forget.
so my computer just tells me when I forget.
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~~ A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted
to be dismissed from serving.
He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them
worked.
On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more
shot.
As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could
approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this
trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant.
I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those
beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a
crook!
He's guilty!'
So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"
With a tired annoyance the judge replied,
"Get back in the jury box, you fool.
That man is the defendant's lawyer."
to be dismissed from serving.
He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them
worked.
On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more
shot.
As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could
approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this
trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant.
I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those
beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a
crook!
He's guilty!'
So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"
With a tired annoyance the judge replied,
"Get back in the jury box, you fool.
That man is the defendant's lawyer."
☼
~~ If bankers can count, how come the average bank
has 10 windows and only four tellers?
has 10 windows and only four tellers?
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~~ "What were you in for?" asked the friend.
"I found a horse."
"Found a horse? Nonsense!
They wouldn't jug you for finding a horse."
"Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him."
"I found a horse."
"Found a horse? Nonsense!
They wouldn't jug you for finding a horse."
"Well, but you see I found him before the owner lost him."
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~ "Have you lost another tooth, Amber?"
asked auntie, who noticed an unusual lisp.
"Yes'm," replied the four-year-old,
and I limp now when I talk."
asked auntie, who noticed an unusual lisp.
"Yes'm," replied the four-year-old,
and I limp now when I talk."
☼
~~ Apple has put on hold plans to release a new iPod
designed for children to use.
Apparently "iTouch Kids" wasn't an ideal product name.
designed for children to use.
Apparently "iTouch Kids" wasn't an ideal product name.
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~~ Mom, I can't make Jell-O.
How do I get two cups of water into those little bags?
How do I get two cups of water into those little bags?
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~ A private, anxious to secure leave of absence,
sought his captain with a most convincing tale about a
sick wife breaking her heart for his absence.
The officer, familiar with the soldier's ways, replied:
"I am afraid you are not telling the truth.
I have just received a letter from your wife urging me not
to let you come home because you get drunk,
break the furniture, and mistreat her shamefully."
The private saluted and started to leave the room.
He paused at the door, asking: "Sor, may I speak to you,
not as an officer, but as mon to mon?"
"Yes; what is it?"
"Well, sor, what I'm after sayin' is this,"
approaching the captain and lowering his voice.
"You and I are two of the most iligant liars the Lord ever
made.
I'm not married at all."
sought his captain with a most convincing tale about a
sick wife breaking her heart for his absence.
The officer, familiar with the soldier's ways, replied:
"I am afraid you are not telling the truth.
I have just received a letter from your wife urging me not
to let you come home because you get drunk,
break the furniture, and mistreat her shamefully."
The private saluted and started to leave the room.
He paused at the door, asking: "Sor, may I speak to you,
not as an officer, but as mon to mon?"
"Yes; what is it?"
"Well, sor, what I'm after sayin' is this,"
approaching the captain and lowering his voice.
"You and I are two of the most iligant liars the Lord ever
made.
I'm not married at all."
☼
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Todays Thought:
Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than
others. - Oscar Wilde
It is not fair that some men should be happier than
others. - Oscar Wilde
Rae's Trivia........
Gordon Sumner, the rock star and actor known as Sting,
got his nickname from the yellow-and-black jerseys he
used to wear, which fellow musicians thought made him
look like a bumble bee.
Singer Johnny Cash was born J. R. Cash.
He chose the first name John when the military wouldn’t
accept just initials on its forms.
got his nickname from the yellow-and-black jerseys he
used to wear, which fellow musicians thought made him
look like a bumble bee.
Singer Johnny Cash was born J. R. Cash.
He chose the first name John when the military wouldn’t
accept just initials on its forms.
1 comment:
On my way over for breakfast :^)
Still cold and wet over here we really need some warm weather now it'll soon be the longest day.
Love the trivia
Rae xx
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