The Hummingbirds are getting more and more.....
I'm gonna send some to Pete.....
☼.
"There's a bear in the yard!!"
Opppps...it's only "Murphy" our dog....
☼
"Sam" checking the yard for bears.......
☼
Yeah, they bad......and hungry....
☼
I don't blieve I'd want, either.....
☼
Okay, okay...I'm calm....
But I'm watching the Clown!
☼
Okay...We will "Send the clowns in"..
☼
Go wipe your mouth... or I'll get the clown to do it...
☼
I gotz my Teddie......
☼
I'm glad someone's got it!!
☼
Will, that was nice of you.....
Send in the Clowns.......
☼
I'm all out....Maybe Pete has some....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ I saw this frail and elderly lady standing at the side
of a busy road today, so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I helped her across the road because there's no way
she'd be able to cross it on her own.
As I waved her goodbye feeling good about myself I said
"No need to thank me madam, it's a pleasure,"
to which she replied "You little shit, I was only waiting for
the bus!"
of a busy road today, so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I helped her across the road because there's no way
she'd be able to cross it on her own.
As I waved her goodbye feeling good about myself I said
"No need to thank me madam, it's a pleasure,"
to which she replied "You little shit, I was only waiting for
the bus!"
☼
~~ I love our government's sense of humour.
After killing Bin Laden, they announce that the world is
now a safer place, but that a terrorist attack is highly likely.
After killing Bin Laden, they announce that the world is
now a safer place, but that a terrorist attack is highly likely.
☼
~~ Fight in hell tonite, Osama and Saddam vs
John Wayne and Ronald Reagan.
Howard Cosell will be doing play by play!
John Wayne and Ronald Reagan.
Howard Cosell will be doing play by play!
☼
~~ It's still mystery to me why cops use drug-sniffing
dogs rather than sober ones...
dogs rather than sober ones...
☼
~~ Q: What was the most positive result of
the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman
the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman
☼
~~ A Guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying
the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get
out.
When asked for the reason, the manager said,
"Because you peed in the pool."
"Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that."
"True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the
diving board."
the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get
out.
When asked for the reason, the manager said,
"Because you peed in the pool."
"Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that."
"True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the
diving board."
☼
~~ Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
☼
~~ I spend an hour each evening walking around our
neighbourhood.
That's when I spotted it: A 1975 Honda 550 4-cylinder
motorcycle with just 11,000 original miles and a price
tag of only $1,250.
Every day I made a point of passing and examining this
fine specimen.
I also spent many hours explaining to my unheeding wife
the importance of owning such a classic piece of
machinery.
Two weeks passed.
One morning while driving my daughter to school,
I told her I was going to swing by the house where the
motorcycle had been for sale.
I said I hoped it was still available.
"Don't worry, Daddy, it will be," she told me.
"None of the wives will let their husbands buy it."
neighbourhood.
That's when I spotted it: A 1975 Honda 550 4-cylinder
motorcycle with just 11,000 original miles and a price
tag of only $1,250.
Every day I made a point of passing and examining this
fine specimen.
I also spent many hours explaining to my unheeding wife
the importance of owning such a classic piece of
machinery.
Two weeks passed.
One morning while driving my daughter to school,
I told her I was going to swing by the house where the
motorcycle had been for sale.
I said I hoped it was still available.
"Don't worry, Daddy, it will be," she told me.
"None of the wives will let their husbands buy it."
☼
~~ I checked the chalkboard on which the owner of the
deli wrote her soup of the day.
At the counter I told her that I didn't think she'd sell
much of it that day.
Puzzled, she turned to the board, and saw that she had
written "Spit Pea Soup."
deli wrote her soup of the day.
At the counter I told her that I didn't think she'd sell
much of it that day.
Puzzled, she turned to the board, and saw that she had
written "Spit Pea Soup."
☼
~~ Man to his daughter's date: "She says she'll be
right down........ Would you care for a game of chess?"
right down........ Would you care for a game of chess?"
☼
~~ Our bus tour in Australia stopped in the outback
where the leader of the local Aboriginal tribe was to
demonstrate his hunting prowess with a spear.
After he explained how important hunting skills are for
providing food for his family, he threw his spear at a target
that had been set up on the side of the hill.
He missed.
He cast another spear which, although closer, also
missed the target.
He turned back to our group.......
"Kentucky Fried Chicken looking good!"
where the leader of the local Aboriginal tribe was to
demonstrate his hunting prowess with a spear.
After he explained how important hunting skills are for
providing food for his family, he threw his spear at a target
that had been set up on the side of the hill.
He missed.
He cast another spear which, although closer, also
missed the target.
He turned back to our group.......
"Kentucky Fried Chicken looking good!"
☼
☼
Todays Thought; "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those
who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss
Rae's Trivia.....At a 1965 concert in Sacramento, Keith Richards smashed
his microphone with the neck of his guitar.
It produced a giant bolt of electricity that sent him flying
through the air and then knocked him on his back,
unconscious.
Two minutes later, he came to.
He credited his survival to the thick soles of the suede
Hush Puppy boots he was wearing at the time.
his microphone with the neck of his guitar.
It produced a giant bolt of electricity that sent him flying
through the air and then knocked him on his back,
unconscious.
Two minutes later, he came to.
He credited his survival to the thick soles of the suede
Hush Puppy boots he was wearing at the time.
~~~
Gorillas do not know how to swim,
and they sleep about 14 hours a day.
and they sleep about 14 hours a day.
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