# 1,300... WOW..

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
Well, it's hot... 95º yesterday...
and will be in the 90's all week...
Got us a heat wave going....
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Don't want cake...

want sausage gravy and biscuits....

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I know, you like tuna....but don't you

want the cake..?

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You wouldn't....

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I guess he don't like Spam....

with french garlic??

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I try to be, but I fail sometimes....

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Oh, no!! And I got a date with "Witchy"...

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Been Sleeping long???

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You need too....you broke it....

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Why?? why don't you get your own??

I need all mine......

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I doubt that......

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Oh, no....now I'm scared.....

I won't get any sleep tonight.....

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♥♥♥

~~  Little Johnny pulls up in front of the bakery with his
little sister in their lil red wagon.
They walk in and Johnny while clutching a nickel in his
fingers, presses his face up against the glass case where
the whipped covered cream filled long johns are.
"how much are those long johns?" johnny asked the
baker.
"well for you they are a nickel" replied the baker "
great!!!" said johnny pulling a dollar bill from his
pocket "I'll take 20 of em"

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~~  A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said,
"Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said,
"Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing
supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said,
"Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"

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~~  "Arnold Schwarzenegger might have to give
Maria Shriver 100,000,000 dollars in a divorce
settlement.
When asked for a comment Arnold said,
"But I have families to support." –Conan O'Brien

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~~  Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock
the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they
couldn't.
 The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to
catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

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~~  Son: "Dad, did you go to Church when you were
little?"
Dad: "Yes son, every single Sunday."
Son: "I thought so.
Bet it won't do me any good either."

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~~  Americans must be easygoing because they can
never stay mad enough to get a third political party
started.

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~~  Will Rogers was once asked by a piano manufacturer
to compose a short testimonial praising its products.
Rogers, unwilling to endorse any product which he
could not personally test, replied thus: "Dear Sirs,
I guess your pianos are the best I ever leaned against.
Yours truly, Will Rogers."

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~~  The day my great-aunt had her new carpets
installed in her senior- residence apartment,
I visited her to see if she needed any help.
 I found her in a somewhat frazzled state.
As I went about placing the furniture in its usual position,
she suddenly plopped down in a chair and declared,
"I just can't figure out what happened, but it seems the
day I turned 90, I lost all my energy!"
"But you're 80, not 90," I pointed out.
Upon hearing this, she marched into the kitchen, mixed
her favorite cocktail, took a sip and said,
"Well, I really don't have any excuse then!"
And proceeded to vacuum the whole apartment.

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~~  A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his
parents went to town shopping.
He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that
evening.
"I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare
the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that..... She ate all the bait!"

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~~  Austrian pianist Artur Schnabel was once amused
to find an elderly woman in the front row sleeping right
through one of his concerts.
When she abruptly woke as the final ovation rang
through the auditorium, Schnabel leaned over to
apologize:
"It was the applause, madame," he whispered.
"I played as softly as I could."

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Todays Thought: I have come to the conclusion that politics are too
serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
 - Charles De Gaulle

Rae's Trivia...The first woman executed by the U.S. government was
Mary Surratt. She was hanged July 7, 1865, for conspiracy in the
assassination of President Lincoln.

 

Good Morning, everyone.... Going to be a hot
week.....In the 90's......
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Remembering all the "Heros"

Today is their day.....

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Time for cook outs....

Sit around in the shade, and eat....

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I guess the cat don't like his breakfast??

Wanted links??

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Are you being eaten??

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Been eating the paintings again??

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Wow...You waiting for Breakfast.....

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No not every one.....

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Glad you found a home.....

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What can I say?? I really like Eno........

Reminds me of a friend of mine......

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Okay...who's the card shark??

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Well, gotta go.....the "Boss" is calling....

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♥♥♥

~~ Pete....we gotta fix the Blog...
 Gus: We've modified the warp coils by reversing
the polarity of the inverse geometric phase integrator
and adding a broad-band neutrino generator to the
hyper-magnetic field controls.
Pete: What will that do?
Gus: Not a damn thing, but it sure as hell *sounds*
impressive!

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~~  Little Johnny was at the local supermarket with his
parents.
Little Johnny, got tired of walking, so his Dad let Little
Johnny sit on his shoulders.
As they walked Little Johnny started pulling his Dad's
hair.
 His Dad asked Little Johnny to stop numerous times
but he kept on.
Eventually Little Johnny's Dad got really annoyed and
said, "Son Stop that immediately!"
 "But, Daddy", Little Johnny replied,
"I'm just trying to get my chewing-gum back".

☼

~~  Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist.
As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his
crotch.
 The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold
of my privates."
 The woman replies, "Yes.
Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other,
aren’t we."

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~~  "Dogs are our link to paradise.
They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent.
To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is
to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring ...
it was peace."

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~~  Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually
alter your DNA.
Decades from now your descendants will occasionally
clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

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~~  Country music resonates with Scottish people —
getting drunk, getting your heart broken, and getting
drunk again.

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~~  Whenever Chuck Norris looks in a mirror it breaks.
Because not even glass is dumb enough to stand
between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

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~~  After the accident, I told the police officer I thought
the driver of the other vehicle was drunk.
He told me the other vehicle was a cow.

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~~  How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton’s toes.

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~~  The amount of sleep required by the average person
is about five minutes more.

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~~  Benefits of exercising:
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the
postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water
and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..yet lives for 450 years.
AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!

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Todays Thought:  "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

Raes Trivia....

 On November 23, 1969, four years after receiving it,
John Lennon sent back his Most Excellent Order of the
British Empire (MBE) award.
He stated that he was returning the MBE in protest against
 British involvement in Biafra, Nigeria, and Vietnam.

I want to  take time to say thanks to all of the

service men and our Heros for a job well done....

and Semper Fi... Capt.

 

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors...
Patchy fog this morning. Mostly sunny, today...
 Highs in the upper 80s. Getting warmer...
Everyone having a good Holiday weekend??
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Gonna be plenty Chicken eaten this weekend...

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But...Hey....Your gonna have to cut "Bubba" off...

He's had to much to eat already....

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And then had the nerve to nap in the pan....

you ain't right.....

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Oh, no....the fish is eating my Buddy......

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And just where am I gonna sit??

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Stop leaveing skid marks, please....

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I don't think this guy wants a bath.....

Why do you think I know this???

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I can't your too heavy...

Let me get Bubba, maybe he will help....

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Why, you watching me??

Do I owe you??

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Oh, no...your disappearing.....

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Well, I gotta go.... my rides here...

My Ninja driver... cool ain't he??

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♥♥♥

~~  President Obama arrived in France for the G8
summit, a meeting of the world’s top economic powers.
To give you an idea of how bad our economy is doing,
when the president arrived, the other countries were
like, “What are you doing here?”

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~~  I’ve been feeling jittery and nervous and I realized
I’m going through Oprah withdrawal.
At 4:00, I cried for no reason and then I checked under
my chair for a prize.

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~~  My internet went down last night....
I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill.
How irresponsible.

☼

~~  One reason the Military Services have trouble
operating jointly is that they don't speak the same
language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a
building," they would turn off the lights and lock the
doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one could
enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and
defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a
three-year lease with an option to buy.

☼

~~   The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing
off its plumage.
My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it.
That evening, he couldn't wait to tell his father.
"Dad, guess what!
I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!"

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~~  "Once in Virginia" said a speaker who had received
an introduction that promised more than he felt he
could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a
large sign. 
It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small
letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be
served.'

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~~  While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of
teenagers came in.
They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. 
The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's
hair was bright yellow. 
Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and
tried them on.
"What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend.
"Take them off!" she howled,....
"They make you look ridiculous."

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~~  My mother and I were having a mother-daughter
talk about the qualities to look for in a husband. 
She stressed that husband and wife should be as much
alike as possible in interests and backgrounds.
 I brought up the point that opposites often attract.
"Diane," Mom said emphatically, "Just being man and
woman is opposite enough."

☼

~~  Brett and I were soaked when we were caught in the
rain while golfing.
But I had extra clothes in the car, so I lent him a pair of
jeans.
Several weeks later at a party at Brett's house, his wife
raised some eyebrows when she called over to me,
"Larry, your pants are still hanging behind my bedroom
door."

☼

~~  Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
They’re going to call her Old Spice.

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Todays Thought:

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim
is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we
reach it." ~~ Michaelangelo ~~

Rae's Trivia.....

Sadly, when the Allies dropped their very first bomb on
Berlin, it wound up landing right in the Berlin Zoo,
instantly killing the Nazis’ only elephant.

Good Morning.... Gonna be a nice day....
66º right now, will get to 84º later
thunder storm later...Get ready for a heat
wave though Monday and Tuesday....
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A nice Sunrise.....

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Hot Italian for breakfast??

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So thats were my broom went...

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Charles must be wicked....

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Fight--Fight....

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Now that's a weird looking Snail....

Is that what you call "Escargot"??

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She can't believe what she's seeing....

Weird-Weird

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Yes, it is....

I apologise, I won't let it happen again...

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Yep! That's what they do.....

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What would "Roy" & "Gabby" Do??

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There goes my ride.......

I wish you guys were more careful....

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♥♥♥

~~  One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his
Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt
and asked him if anything was wrong.
 The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing,
but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church
instead.
 The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if
his father had explained to him why it was more
important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
 To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of
us."

☼

~~  Two young blonde women were playing golf at a
foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green.
 Each hit their ball anyway.
When they walked to the green, they discovered one
ball about three feet from the cup, while the other ball
somehow had gone directly in.
 The blondes tried to figure out which ball belonged to
who, since they were both using Titleist number threes.
 Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and
asked the golf pro for a ruling.
 After hearing their story and congratulating them both
on their superb shots under such adverse conditions the
pro asked,.."Okay, so who was playing the yellow ball?"

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~~  "Osama Bin Laden's supporters want to rename
the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped....
"Martyr Sea" .
 Really?.... Martyr Sea ?
Hiding in your bedroom for six years?
How about Chicken of the Sea?"

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~~  members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S.
I don't understand why they're so upset.
Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion."

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~~  Because of sniper activity, no soldier on our base
in Iraq was ever permitted to jog along the perimeter
fence. 
Smart rule, smarter than some of the guards who worked
there.
When I told an MP about some joggers near the fence,
he asked, "These runners, are they on foot?"

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~~  Driving along on a sunny day with her young
granddaughter by her side, my sister was on top of the
world.
  "Grandma," said the girl, "is Grandpa a lot older
than you?" 
"A few years, yes," she said. 
Then, fishing for a compliment, she inquired,
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, his mustache is a lot bigger than yours."

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~~   husband and wife were at a party chatting with
some friends when the subject of marriage counseling
came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that.
My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife
explained.
"He was a communication major in college, and I
majored in theater arts.
He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm
listening."

☼

~~  I read this article that said the typical symptoms of
stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse
buying and driving too fast.
Are they kidding?...... That is my idea of a perfect day.

☼

~~  For the holidays one year, rather than send gifts,
Pete decided to enclose checks in his greeting cards. 
Inside each card he wrote... " Buy your own presents"
and then sent them off.
A few months later, he discovered the checks he had
"mailed" under a pile of books.

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~~  Q: What did the man who was just cloned say?
A: "I'm beside myself!"

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Todays thought:

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because
the brain is entirely fat.
Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do
is run for public office.

(And because I'm in a good Mood.....)

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." - Aristotle

Rae's Trivia......

Star Trek fans in over 120 countries lament the fact that
Patrick Stewart has never won an Emmy Award for his role
as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

(And)

Napoleon appointed three scientists to create a device
that would preserve rations for his troops as they
attacked Russia.
Their brainchild: canned food.
In the French team was Louis Pasteur, the inventor of
the pasteurization method.
The technique they developed for canning is virtually the
same process used today.
Unfortunately, the scientists didn’t also invent a can
opener.
So by relying on knives and bayonets to pierce the thick
metal cans, many soldiers severely wounded
themselves, some even cutting off a finger or two!

<(º_º)>

Thunder storms today....and boy the weekend looks
like it's gonna be a hot one...
Check the weather Pete.........
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Sorry about that.... we like fried Chicken...

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Yeah...that chicken had a first name...

But she also tasted good......

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I don't know about the spice,

but the gravy is flowing this morning...

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Chickens...just chickens...

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Oh... you thought that was funny....huh.

Do sea lions taste like Chicken??

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I thought I smelled something....

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Goats don't taste like chicken...

after all they eat cans...

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one cool ad.....

Would make you stop and look...

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Air conditioned bike??

What can I say.....

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Well, gotta go..my homemade

strawberry shortbread is ready....

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♥♥♥

~~  There are laws to protect the freedom of the
press's speech, but none that are worth anything to
protect the people from the press.

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~~  Edward Hale (1822-1909), while chaplain of the
U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No.
After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."

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~~  QUESTION: Why does it take longer to build a
blonde snowman than a regular one?
ANSWER: You have to hollow out the head.

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~~  "Is there a ruler in the house?" my nine-year-old
son asked while he was doing his math homework.
I had an old one I had used for my studies, and when
I gave it to him, he examined it intently.
"What do you find so fascinating?" I asked.
"So this is what an inch looks like!" he exclaimed.

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~~  For show and tell, my seven-year-old daughter
invited her 95-year- old great-grandmother to class.
She told the children she'd taught in a one-room
schoolhouse.
She described how she had snowshoed to school
across fields when the snow was deep and said that
sometimes the farmer she boarded with allowed her the
use of a horse.
She told the children she taught eight grades at once,
that each day an older student came early to light the
potbellied stove, that desks were built for two, and that
there were inkwells and an outhouse.
Finally, she asked if there were any questions.
One eager boy's hand shot up.
“Do you still have the horse?” he asked.

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~~  A local church built a new sanctuary.
They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the
new sanctuary.
It was an intricate task that was completed successfully.

The local news heralded, "St. Paul Completes Organ Transplant."

☼

~~  The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don’t want to
be seen with.

☼

~~  Ever notice that when you change supermarket
lines, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.

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~~  After a long day at the museum, my kindergarten
class described what they liked best.
“Dinosaurs!” one shouted.
“Animals!” another cried.
One little boy put up his hand and said, “My favorite
part is when we smelled French fries in the hallway.”

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~~  During a cold snap, when everyone was complaining
about the low temperature in the office, I noticed one of
my co-workers was industriously folding letters and
stuffing envelopes while wearing a pair of gloves.
I sympathized with her on just how cold her hands must
be.
"Oh, my hands aren't cold," she replied.
"I'm mailing out copies of a chain letter, and I don't
want to leave my fingerprints on them."

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~~  Irene said; I explained to my young children that I
was going to run in the school board elections.
On the day of the vote, I emerged from my bedroom
wearing business attire.
My six-year-old son looked me up and down, his eyes
coming to rest on my high heels.
In a shocked voice, he exclaimed, “Mom, you're not
running in those shoes!"

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Todays Thought: The 7 Modern Sins:

Politics without principles,
Pleasures without conscience,
Wealth without work, Knowledge without character,
Industry without morality, Science without humanity,
Worship without sacrifice. - Canon Frederic Donaldson

Rae's trivia....

The lungs of an average adult, unfolded and flattened out,
would cover an area the size of a tennis court.
And...

 One ounce of the material that constitutes a spider’s
web could stretch 2,000 miles....