In the 70's today... But in the 50's with rain tomorrow...
A rainy weekend......
☺
"Granny's" weeping Cheery... just starting to bloom...
I post a picture every Year...
☺
☼
Cat's can't fly.....!
☺
Your eyes are bigger then your stomach....
☺
Or else...WHAT?....
☺
Now it's time to laugh......
☼
When he gets ahold of you you will be afraid!!
☺
Now...He's a cool one......
☺
We's broke them...
☺
Well, time to go.... see you tomorrow....
☺
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Petewete...I have been on a new diet which consistsof a lot of chicken, turkey and cornish game hens.
I'm losing weight, but it sure leaves a fowl taste in my mouth. ☼
~~ I was telling some sheep jokes the other day.
But none of them laughed and one just ran away going
"baa."
( I know, I know... it was baaaaad)
☼
~~ An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady,
entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor.
"Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl.... "it's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor.
"Madam, stick out your tongue...."
☼
~~ Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
☼
~~ What do you call a Spanish Man with a Rubber Toe?
Roberto...............
☼
~~ An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot
instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take
their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants
if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply,
"except one lawyer who is still going around passing
out business cards."
☼
~~ Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.
☼
~~ For almost an hour, a customer tried on swimsuit
after swimsuit in our shop.
As her saleslady I wasn't of much help because she
wouldn't open the changing-room door.
Nor would she open it to let her husband or daughter see
the various suits. Exasperated, the daughter finally
demanded she be allowed in the dressing room.
The mother relented.
"But not just yet," she called out.
"I'm in my birthday suit."
With a wry grin, her husband said, "At least we know that
one fits!"
☼
~~ An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's
inconsolable.
His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy" he replies.
☼
~~ While waiting in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl,
I overheard my two nephews arguing.
"Aunt Stacy's going with me!" insisted Alex.
"No," said his brother, "she's going with me!"
Flattered at being so popular, I promised Alex,
"You and I can go on the merry-go-round."
"But I want you on this ride," he protested.
"Why?"
"Because the more weight, the faster it goes."
☼
~~ While I was planning a trip to Nova Scotia,
a Titanic-related tour caught my eye.
The description: "Learn of the Titanic tragedy along with
a guided visit to the Fairview Lawn Cemetery,
where 121 victims are still buried
on a deluxe air-conditioned motorcoach."
☼
~~ The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts.
I intended to stock up.
At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few
skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry,
so I complained to the butcher lady.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and
have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom
over the public-address system:
"Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet
me at the back of the store."
☼
☼
Todays Thought; You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Rae's Trivia..... Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969) was the only president to serve in both WWI and WWII.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.