Well, it's a warm morning....I'm reading 62º...
But it's gonna cool down today.....
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That's were I go wrong....
I feed the birds, and i have to wash my truck.....
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Don't look now...............
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"These boots are made for walking"
Or "Don't tread on me!"
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Hold your head up high.....
You ain't that ugly!!
I mean look at "Petewete!"
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These warm days will do that to you....
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You look comfortable.....
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She's coming for me, because she didn't
like the joke about William's wedding
I posted.......
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Cat's can't text.........
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Oh, your good!!
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Oh, come on now.... cat's don't have snowmobiles.....
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Wow....You guys ain't right!!
Well, time to have my omelet...
See you tomorrow.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Regarding Prince William's bachelor party...
"It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini
when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."
☼
~~ A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room,
when a young woman with purple hair styled into a
punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute
appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green,
and above it there was a tattoo that read,
"Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
☼
~~ I'm selling my stock in glow sticks.
Some how I think they are not going to be needed in Japan
soon.
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~~ A wife asked her husband:
"What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy
body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'
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~~ "I woke up this morning to the smell of coffee,
bacon on the grill, pancakes being made.
I looked around.
dammit!.... I passed out in Denny's again!"
☼
~~ Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any
worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
☼
~~ An elderly man went to his doctor and said,
'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately,
I have forgotten to zip up.'
'That's not senility,' replied the doctor.
'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
☼
~~ After setting off the alarms at airport security,
I was escorted behind a curtain.
As two female officials "wanded" me, the senior officer
gave instructions to the trainee on proper technique:
first down the front of my body, then up the back of me,
and—much to my embarrassment—up between my legs.
After she was done, her boss congratulated her.
"Great job," she said.
"Now do it again.
But this time, try turning on the wand."
☼
~~ Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as
soldiers are for finishing it.
You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat
in a week.
☼
~~ Q: Why did the apple go out with a fig?
A: Because it couldn't find a date.
☼
~~ Because it was my brother's birthday, our mom wanted
to do something special.
She called his fraternity house and said she wanted to bring
a cake.
The young man who took the call was very excited.
"Hey Mrs. Schaeffer," he said, "that would be great!"
The next day she drove to the fraternity and rang the doorbell.
The same boy answered the door.
When he saw the cake, his face fell. "
Oh," he said, clearly disappointed.
"I thought you said "Keg."
☼
~~ Remember when the only energy crisis was kids having
too much of it.
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~~ Sue said: I was on family leave, spending my days
caring for my two-year- old son while pregnant with my
second.
To kill some time, I began watching the Game Show Network,
and I got hooked.
One afternoon my husband came home from work to find
the house in complete disarray and me plopped in front of
the TV.
"So that's what you do while I'm at work?" he said smirking.
"I just happened to have it on," I lied.
The next day we were watching President Bush give a speech.
As Mr Bush stepped out of his car and waved to his cheering
supporters, my son shouted, "Look, Mommy,
he won the car!"
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Todays Thought: "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Rae's Triva... Frogs will only eat something that moves, in nature that would be insects, or maybe spiders. Frog farmers soon learn that frogs are not tempted by dead meat...... Tadpoles on the other hand, are vegetarian.
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