Hope you had a great weekend....
☼
Looks good...doesn't it...
makes me hungry
☼
He saz, he wants some...please...please!
☼
He don't think it looks good....
Rather have raw shell fish...
☼
This crutter likes nuts....
☼
Wants her "Tuna"......
Sez it's breakfast time....
☼
Won't help....
☼
Like I always say; Cats can sleep anywere....
☼
Did I also tell you; their bossy too...
☼
No! you can't come in the kitchen....
☼
Now, thats kinda weird....
Wouldn't you rather have that Ham, cheese melt..??
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Advise for Petewete.....Redneck Driving Etiquette-
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is
impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially
when driving.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids
can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
☼
~~ A family was driving home from school when a fire truck
zoomed past with a Dalmatian dog on the front seat.
"Why's that dog on the fire truck?" asked the younger son.
His older brother said, "They use him to keep crowds back."
His sister said, "No. He's there for good luck."
The eldest child brought the argument to a close,
when she firmly said.........
"They use the dog to find the fire hydrants!"
☼
~~ An angry wife was complaining about her husband
spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her
along with him.
"What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know.
The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and
threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and
immediately spat it out.
"Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered.
"I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband.
"And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
☼
~~ A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with
baited breath.
☼
~~ Doctor: I'm terribly sorry but we were unable to save
your wife.
I also have to clarify a few things in your story.
You claim that while playing golf with your wife, you hit your
golf ball and that it hit your wife in the back of the head
causing her to fall over unconscious.
Golfer: That is correct.
Doctor: Then how do you explain the golf ball we found in
her rectum?
Golfer: Oh, that was my mulligan.
☼
~~ If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison.
It went a lot faster with two people digging.
☼
~~ NASA holds a joint space mission with Russia and
China, where the astronauts will live on a makeshift station
in high orbit for a year.
They're each allowed 100 lbs of cargo.
The American guy says, 'My wife only weighs a hundred
pounds, I'm takin' her!'
The Chinese guy says, 'I wish to learn Greek, so I shall take
100 lbs of Greek books!'
The Russian guy says, 'I cannot go a year without a cigar,
so I shall take 100 lbs of the finest Cubans!'
The astronauts launch successfully, and the mission goes
well.
One year later, they land back at NASA, where a massive
crowd awaits them.
The shuttle door opens and thunderous applause fills the air.
The American guy steps out with his wife, a baby in each arm.
Applause explodes to greet them.
The Chinese guy steps out and addresses the crows in
perfect Greek.
Again, the crowd goes wild.
The Russian guy stomps out, a cigar crammed between his
teeth, and snarls, 'Anyone got a Damn' MATCH???'
☼
~~ A blonde walks up to a coke machine and puts in a coin.
out pops a coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more
coins.
She returens and starts feeding the machine madly and of
coures the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watchs her
antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if
someone eles could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts:
can't you see I'm winning!"
☼
~~ Phobias.....
Aulophobia: Fear of flutes
Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Geliophobia: Fear of laughter
Genuphobia: Fear of knees
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words
☼
☼
Todays Thought: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
But not in that order.
Rae's Trivia.....He left home without it: In 1949 Frank X. McNamara took friends to dinner in New York City but forgot to bring his cash. He vowed never again to be so embarrassed and so created
the Diners Club Card, the first credit card. The Diners Club Card was initially made of cardboard.
It listed the 14 participating restaurants on the back and had an annual fee of $3.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
No comments:
Post a Comment