Good Morning... Readers....
Well it was nice and warm yesterday... but very windy....
But it sure felt good sitting in the sun....
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Looked out the window Sunday evening and the sky was pink...
Never saw that before...
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My mouth won't open enought for a bite.....
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But I bet his will.....
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Watch out....Birdy....
The ceiling cat is always watching .....
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Mean Bird......
Will peck you.....
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I know.....I have a few....
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"Let me in... I want some of that burger"..
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Lazy people??
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Warm is it??
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One way to carry your chair....
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Wow...what a difference...
Fair?
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♥♥♥
~~ A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter
methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying
scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the
balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards
signed, ’Guess who?’ ”
“But why?”
“I’m a divorce lawyer.”
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~~ Cole, my three-year-old son, has difficulty pronouncing the s sound,
particularly at the beginning of a word.
When we came across some animals in a book we were reading,
we took the opportunity to practise this sound.
"This is a sss-snake," Cole said, "This is a sss-skunk, and this is a sss-squirel."
After celebrating his success, we turned the page,
"And what animal is this?" I asked.
With great pride and confidence, he replied, "Sss-gorilla!"
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~~ This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts,
"Ballroom please."
A lady standing in front of him turns around and says,
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you.
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~~ Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
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~~ As part of his job as a driver for a florist's shop, my husband Michael,
would dress as Santa for the holiday season.
He was a great hit when making flower deliveries.
Once, Michael popped into a drugstore for a last-minute purchase of his
own and was asked by the clerk if he had air miles.
"What do I need air miles for?" he laughed.
"My reindeers are parked on the roof."
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~~ Tod looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked
his father, "Pop, What’s a millennium?" "Well," he muttered,
"I think it’s something like a centennial, only it has more legs."
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~~ A cruise ship sinks and three men make it to an uninhabited island.
The first man, a Christian, tears two branches from a palm tree,
creates a cross and prays to the Lord to be saved from the island.
The second man, a Muslim, pulls several fronds from the palm tree,
creates a mat, kneels facing Mecca and prays to Allah to save him.
The third man, a Jew, falls asleep under the palm tree.
The other two can't understand how this man could remain so calm and serene,
so they ask him how he could be so at ease.
He answers: "Two years ago I gave $10,000 to the Jewish Federation.
Last year I gave $20,000.
This year I pledged $30,000.
Don't worry, they'll find me."
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~~ DINER: What are your breakfast specials?
WAITRESS: Today we're offering hippopotamus eggs and elephant eggs.
DINER: Give me the hippo eggs.....
I'm tired of elephant yokes.
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~~ KIDS CAN SOMETIMES ASK THE TOUGHEST QUESTIONS...
Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father: Ok, ask.
Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring
doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor
doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.
Father: !!!??????!!!
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~~ Player: "I've just had a good idea for strengthening the team."
Manager: "Good! When are you leaving?"
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Todays Thought: Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
Rae's Trivia.... How much counterfeiting went on during the Civil War? By the end of the Civil War, between one-third and one-half of all U.S. paper currency in circulation was counterfeit.
This served as the catalyst behind the creation of the U.S. Secret Service.
On July 5, 1865, the Secret Service was created under the U.S. Treasury Department.
In less than a decade, counterfeiting was sharply reduced.
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