Well, we didn't get any snow.....
they were calling for flurries.
I have 27º now and we might get
flurries again....cold today..
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Ready for your eggs?
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Just what I need for my burger....
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What big Cheeks....
What a weird looking fish....
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Why...Why do you do this to me??
She don't look happy...
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Sleep...little one...
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Happy New Year......
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Get him, Bubba.....
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Just resting.. They know where there is no dogs....
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Just for some........
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He's got a nice load....
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I want mine to say; EMPTY.....
What kind of grasshopper is this?
Playboy??
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♥♥♥
~~ One minister was teaching a fifth grade Sunday School class about the life of John.
He told how John had lived in the wilderness with little or nothing to eat.
He commented that John had eaten only honey and locusts.
A little girl asked what locusts are.
The minister said, "A locust is a grasshopper."
The little girl said, "Oh, my grandmother drinks those."
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~~ A Texan in Australia;
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows
off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are
at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan
sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.
He asks, "And what are those"? T
he Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
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~~ Reading him his Miranda rights, a big breasted female
police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer speaks to the staring drunk:
"Sir, you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The wobbling drunk stares at her chest and replies: "Boobs." \
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~~ What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups.
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~~ So this grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper!
We have a drink named after you!".
The grasshopper says "Oh yeah?
You have a drink named Leonard?!".
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~~ This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister
began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous
look on his upturned face.
'Without you, we are but dust...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient
daughter who was listening leaned over to me and
asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,
'Mom,
what is butt dust?'
☼
~~ A Texan was riding a cab in Sidney.
He and the driver are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge,
and the passenger is unimpressed --
"I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an
ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy."
The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn --
"Is this a road, or a track?"
So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab,
causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes,
the driver couldn't help himself -- "Stupid grasshoppers!"
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~~ JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read:
'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out
of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'
Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'
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~~ You Know It's Time to Diet When....
* You dance and it makes the band skip.
* You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus,
and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
* You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
* You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
* Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
* You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk
carton for your picture.
* You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
* You could sell shade.
* Your blood type is Ragu.
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Todays Thought: "If you can't change your fate, change your attitude."
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