Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Friends.....

In the 40's today.....now 21º...

Will be in the 30's later in the week...

Can you believe the lottery's up to $330 million?

What could I do with that??

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What are you-all doing in my car??

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Huh??

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I thought I heard music.......

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Did the music wake you??

Bad wasn't it.......

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No playing in the paper.....

And your the one that shreds the paper.....

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I guess the music woke the baby up......

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What can I say...??

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I wouldn't get any-were near them....

I don't like snakes......

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Okay..Put your booties on so when you step in

that snake chit you will keep your feet clean..

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Don't forget.....

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Time for me to leave........

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♥♥♥

~~ There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver.

One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him
some money!
Now his dream could be realized!
He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a
large red "S" on it.
When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why
he had painted the big red "S" on the car?
Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go
zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim:
Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

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~~ A man goes to a bar with his dog.
He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye
dog."
"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first
one's on me."
The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua.
The first guys sees him, stops him and says
"You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a
seeing-eye dog."
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues
to the bar.
He asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so.
They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?!
They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

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~~ I found out why brother-in-law was so opposed to
foodstamps.......
He kept getting paper cuts on his tongue.

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~~ A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and
mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle,
the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to
find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and
started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling
sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick,
impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said: "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing, the lion got himself into this mess,
let him get himself out of it."

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~~ The British had an organization that Americans are now
considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men's club....
'Bachelors' Anonymous'.
It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate
marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of
bachelors wanting to marry.
They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers,
and a mud pack.

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~~ Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother,
an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up.
She put my father and brother to work cleaning the dining room.
Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the
once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly.
Then she saw the note on the door.
It read, "Thank you for not looking in the closet."

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~~ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments
after class.
Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said,
"Did you write this poem all by yourself?"
The student said, "Every word of it."
The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you,
Mr. Whitman.
I thought you were long dead."

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~~ Going over our church finances I found a receipt from a
local paint store signed by someone named Christian.
I wasn't aware of anyone buying paint, so I called the store
to point out its mistake.
"I'm sorry," I told the manager, "but there are no Christians
here at First Baptist Church."

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~~ One day the legendary banker Amadeo Peter Giannini
(whose Bank of America National Trust and Savings
Association weathered the Depression and become the
largest privately owned bank in the world) asked a
distinguished looking gray-haired gentleman to get him a taxi.
When the man dutifully obliged, Giannini gave him a quarter.
The recipient, clearly embarrassed, explained that he was the
head of the Los Angeles Bank of America.
Giannini duly apologized, took back the quarter,
and gave him a dollar.

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Todays Thought:  Confucius Say...Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.